What happens when someone from your past dies?

I was chatting with an old friend from grade school through college on Facebook this morning, and learned through her that the man who had been a police officer and later police chief in our little village has died.

My friend had posted the message out to all her Facebook friends who formerly lived in that Village, as the man undoubtedly had an impact - at least once - on each of us. She invited stories to be shared...

This man, Chief Al Frazier to all of us, worked at the same police department for 30-some years, starting at age 22. He joined the staff after serving in Korea.

It is mind-boggling to think of how many people's lives he impacted. Our village was a bedroom community to Madison, Wisconsin, so we didn't have too many businesses within our perimeters - a drug store, a gas station, a beauty salon, a meat market - as I recall. Plus a school which started out as K-12, a country club with golf course and pool, and a lot of very nice homes. The closest liquor store - this was Wisconsin so booze abides there - was across the street from the meat market, so technically not within our village walls. But close enough...

One thing that made Maple Bluff significantly different than Sheriff Andy Taylor's Mayberry, was that The Governor's residence for the State of Wisconsin was contained within our village perimeter. And a lot of the city's banking and industry titans also made their homes in this community, so the property values were high. And significant deals were regularly made at the Country Club.

Not to mention that there were a lot of bored, well-educated wives, who stayed home -- and often found themselves with time on their hands. To use doing good works for the community, serving on committees, playing golf and tennis -- and sometimes fooling around with the tennis pro or "pool boy."

What an interesting life it must have been to be policing this community! I'm realizing how many stories he saw and secrets he must have been a part of keeping... Not to mention having to decide when to keep a secret vs. realize intervention was necessary.

I will miss this man despite the fact that I haven't seen or thought of him since I was 22.

How many of us have people like this in our pasts? People who were a significant and yet peripheral part of our lives -- and the lives of a community? Do you have a person like this in your past?

I have known someone who died in her mid-40's nearly 15 years ago. A work colleague such a shock.

Then I heard of another work colleague who died shortly after her retirement party at work ..about 5 years ago. In my opinion, I think she committed suicide. She was perfectly healthy...but a huge part of identity was tied to her work career identity.

That's a sad story,Orchid, but all too common. We get caught up in who/what we are as employed people, and then when there's no job, we feel we have lost our identity.

That's why it is so important to have established hobbies well before we retire, IMHO. Orchid, for example, you have your writing and your cycling, that I know of - probably more.

Also, I fear that more and more of us will consider suicide if we determine that we are showing early signs of Alzheimers.

Anyone else have thoughts or experiences to share on this important topic?

Anne

A fellow graduate of my hometown high school set up a Facebook memorial page for those who have passed, whether student, faculty or of other affiliation/employment of Conroe High School (TX). Anyone can comment on the timeline, if a member of the group, as well as update a MS Word document included under the file section of the group. The pages are growing. It sure brings attention to the rung of the ladder we are now on.
I just lost a sister (younger than I) last month. How mighty the sting! BUT, I know she is safe, now, whereas those left on earth must deal with what is before us.

montx: I often think about that last statement of yours: [Those in the arms of God are safe, while those of us left on earth must deal with whatever is before us.] I guess that attitude makes losing our love ones a little less stressful.