I really stepped in it this time!

Okay, You all know that I'm a newbie to writing. I've had a total of 1 essay published in actual print. I have decided that this qualifies me to call myself a writer. My 14 year old is apparently very proud of this and told his new
girlfriend's parents that his Mom is a writer.

Well.... It turns out that her Mom is also a writer, freelance, I'm assuming for magazines as I've not yet met her. And get this, her Dad is a writer too, even teaches a writing class at none other than Duke University.

I mean really...What are the chances of this happening? Well, obviously to me, very good but honestly, now I feel like a complete fool!

It wouldn't be so bad but he has told me that her mother has invited me to join one of her book clubs. I'm guessing that would neccessitate the actual meeting with her and talking to her about my own paltry little writing career. (I'm so embarrassed)

It took me years to get to this point, where I am finally admitting to the world that I have this disease, called writing.

In fact it was you wonderful women that helped me to do that. So now, I need your help again,
GET ME OUT OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, you are right, I got myself into it. (And the boy will be punished severely) But.....
Does anyone have any suggestions? Or possibly some witty quotes that I can memorize to make myself appear more intelligent and writerly? Can I toss your names around to show that I have some friends in "the" business? Or should I just come clean and say, haha I was only kidding, I'm not really a writer at all, I just play one on television?

LOL! You are living my life. That is totally something that would happen to me.

First of all, you are a writer. Period. Believe it, say it and own it. Doesn't matter that you are not published, but rather that you have several projects in the works. Any writer would surely understand what it is to struggle to become published. It takes time and effort and blood, sweat and tears. (I hope I'm listening to me right now.)

Who knows what contacts you'll make when you meet these literary types? It may be just what you need.

Thanks Sher,
You are of course right. But I still feel so small and incompetent. LOL
Hey , what if when they say "You're son tells us you are a writer."
I could say, "That boy has had a serious problem with lying his entire life."

Maybe that would solve my whole problem! Hmmm...How long do you think it would take him to get over it? LOL

[ November 19, 2004, 10:14 AM: Message edited by: TVC15 ]

You know, in an earlier post today, I mentioned that I'd been writing....well.....forever. Writing seems to me to be not a destination but a journey. It is more of a calling than an occupation, more art than "skill set". You know what I mean. Some of the most beautiful stuff I've ever read has never been published so does that make the person any less a writer? I don't think so. You just keep doing what you are doing and yes, go to lunch or dinner or book club and network like crazy. You never know what may come of it...don't ever sell yourself short.

Thank you Kathryn,
I read your post and you should definitely start submitting also.
I love this group of women, I knew you would all understand my pain and make me feel better about it.
Robin

You write. You are a writer. Period! You do NOT have to be published to be a writer. I have a friend who writes some of the most beautiful stories I've ever read but she refuses to submit them. Says she writes because it completes her.

You are also a woman. Does this mean that you are half a woman? Not as good as other women? Heck no! You are a COMPLETE woman.

You are a Mother. Does this mean that you are not quite as good as other Mother's? I think NOT!

You are .... see where I'm going here hon? You are whatever you believe yourself to be. You write, therefore you are a writer.

Unless this woman is Mary Higgins Clark or Danielle Steel, then I wouldn't give it a second thought. Don't you think she had to start somewhere too? And by the way, for all you know, she may be the WORST writer you've ever read...eh?

This connection sounds as though it was a blessing, a gift to you. Why not accept it and see where it takes you? And when someone says, "So...you're a writer" you answer, "Oh yes, I am! I love to write, don't you?"

If all of this fails, then wash your son's stuff in with something pink. He'll learn.

JJ

Oh boy, I really hope you are all right about this. I suppose it could be a blessing in disguise but I think I may wash his clothes with the pink stuff just to teach him to keep his mouth shut in the future....LOL
Oh and something I failed to mention. He told them that I was hard at work on MY novel.
Boy was he upset when I explained to him what Nanowrimo was really all about..especially after I told him, I quit!

[ November 19, 2004, 11:02 AM: Message edited by: TVC15 ]

You're not only a writer but a published one. It doesn't matter if it's one piece or 200.

You gotta start somewhere. Do you realize how many people have been writing their entire lives and never been published?

When I had just been signed by a literary agent (knew so little about the publishing/writing business, didn't know I should be excited about being signed) I went to a writers conference at Kent State with my editor. Out of 300 writers in that group, only 20 had any work published. Some had been writing for years! So, don't minimize what you've done.

I just started learning scriptwriting and attended a TN Screenwriters Assoc. meeting. These people were talking about stuff that I'd never heard of. One of them asked me what my script's genre was. I said, "Is Chick Flick a genre?" He died laughing. My message is, we start with one at a time and never apologize for it. Teaching writing doesn't necessarily mean he's a good writer.

Your son seems like he's very proud of you so please don't wash his undies with the pink towels!

My son and I thank you Dianne,
You've just won him a reprieve in the undie dept.
LOL

personally I think you should just go up to that boy and give him a great big bear hug (not a wax-scented bear hug like Sher would give).....he's obviously proud of you to be "bragging" to his friends about you. I would love it if one of my kids did something like that, because then I would know that they were paying attention to what I do and not just whining about Mom being on the computer all the time

Well thank you Evie! I get that crap ALL THE TIME from members of my family. Things like, "oh I started to call you the other day but I knew you would be ON THE COMPUTER (heavy emphasis on the last three words). Or my son, the Tom cat, will come home after days of stuff I don't want to know about and when he sees me sitting there reading he'll say, "What? Do you have a fever? You're not on the computer! Is it broken?"

Every one comments on the amount of time I spend on the computer but EVERY SINGLE PERSON that calls me, or would, knows my cell number and that it's on and laying beside me while I work. They are also the FIRST ONES to say, "when you do you have something new coming out?"

If I ever comment back to them and say "well, I tried calling you but as usual, you were at the mall" then they say, but that's different. HUH?

Everyone in my family does this with the exception of my oldest son. He thinks I can do no wrong. Bless his heart....

JJ

Okay Okay, I already promised not to dye his undies pink! But to be honest I have to wait awhile for the bear hug, because TA DA the girlfriend is here! (He'd kill me!)(she's pretty too, he's got good taste)
And you know that means her parents will have to come and get her later and they might even come in to meet me, and ...... OH BOY! Could you people see me at something like a book signing? I'm such a mess!

TVC, I love you for being so honest.

First, your son's adorable to talk about you with his friends. I love it!

I'm a firm believer in the Lord working in mysterious ways. If I recall you are new to the area. This is a wonderful opportunity to network in your new profession. It's perfect. The Lord is opening a door for you. All you need to do is walk through it with confidence. You march right to that meeting/club and take pride in yourself. Believe in yourself. Be true to yourself and you don't worry about any little thing!

Be sure to come here before your meeting and we'll build you up and make you feel like the writer you are.

I can't wait for the day when you blab to your new friends about how scared you were to meet them.

I think this is God at work. Go for it. Open yourself up. Put yourself out there. Who knows what God has in store for you as a writer! I can't wait to hear about it!

Bless your heart Dotsie!
And thank you all for the vote of confidence.
I'll give it my best shot.

There is so much more to this writing than meets the eye. I mean I used to be a pharmacy tech before we moved and I never even thought about people questioning , how good a pharmacy tech I was. I just did my job and forgot about it. I didn't feel inferior to the other techs. I have to learn to adapt that attitude to my writing.

I made business cards for my writing group and we got in a semantics discussion of that whole subject a while back.

The ones who had published, I identified as "Author." Those who had not YET published, I identified as "Writer." I struggled with that and even did some research to determine those titles.
Seems to me you have a right to identify yourself as both a writer because you write, and an author because your work (even if it is only one essay) has been published.
So I say ENJOY!!
smile

That is very interesting Smile, I never even thought about the differences before.

I'm late joining in here but GO GIRL GO! I am positive you will have FUN with this whole thing and by all means - what everyone else has said here is totally true....you ARE an Author and that's an accomplishment to be mighty darned proud of. Now of course you will have to tell us all the details after this "meeting" occurs!

Wow, what a post this was. The information given is so good and should be adhered to. I have nothing new to add except that when given such an opportunity grab it, hold on tight and hopefully it'll be the ride of a lifetime. Go get em Robin..&..God Bless that wonderful son of yours too....

You tickled me with your post. My son did the same thing - telling people, "My Mom is a writer." But mostly he brags, "My Mom is a Children's writer." Seems he got impressed when I had a children's poem published! The inspirational writing doesn't count?! *g*

He's 22, and helps me by letting me run my poetry past him, so I think he feels a part of it. Which I love!

I believe a big part of it is your mindset. Once I wrapped my mind around the idea of being a writer, I jumped in with both feet.

That's interesting about the difference between 'writer' and 'author.' So does it matter what you've had published? Poem? Article? Book? I usually think of 'authors' as writers who've had books published. Does it matter if you were paid?

Can't wait to hear about how much you've learned in the near future with your new contacts!

Donna

TV- in answer to your dilemma I will drop in here the end part of a story I wrote about my writing.


"Now, I finally feel like a writer. The funny thing is, I was a writer all along, but didn’t realize it.
Writing is being a writer. Whether you write fiction, non-fiction, essays, journals, memoirs, poetry, for profit or for your own pleasure, if you are writing, you’re a writer. You can do the grammar checks, the spelling, and the tweaking that perfects it and makes it ready for publication later. Your best work will come from the re-writing. Payment for our work is ideal, but money is not what makes us writers. It is how writers make a living from their craft.
Writing comes from within us. Getting the words out and expressing our thoughts through our written words is truly what makes us writers."

So, you are a writer.

Hope it helps.
Louisa

This whole post gets me into semantics which I love.

Some coach (forget who right now) said when asked how he felt about writers, "We all learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to better things."

I say "We all learn to write in the second grade and writers just never stop editing."

Another thought occurred to me just today. I was having a discussion with a professor friend about why I stopped publishing or even submitting when I was in graduate school. I think it was because before I entered the grad program, I wrote things and people said, "This is really good. You ought to get it published." And I did.
In grad school, they said, "This is good 'only' if you get it published."
There is a whole different mindset to those statements.

Another professor told me, "Write to express, not to impress," Seems like in grad school, I suddenly had to write to impress and I just simply balked at the very idea. Still do. (I guess it's the mule in me)
smile

[ November 19, 2004, 10:31 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]

Okay Ladies I have the update on my first meeting with the girl's Mom.
She is a medical writer, does alot of interveiws but lately she is mostly editing other writers medical writing! She said she never got into any creative writing.
She is a doll and very down to earth, I liked her right away.
I was honest with her about my own writing and she thought it was great.
As most of you said, I was worried for nothing.
We didn't discuss her husband's writing, but he works for the government full time and so I think the writing class is a part time thing (probably nights?) I didn't ask.
The funniest thing is that I found this quote in one of my writing newsletters this morning.

FAVORITE WORDS TO LIVE BY

One of the greatest discoveries a man makes,
one of his great surprises,
is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do.

--Henry Ford

Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement! (and help and keeping me laughing yesterday when I was so nervous!) (and a very good definition of what a writer really is and is not) You people are the best. I love you all!
Robin

Robin,
You not only were given the gift of a new friend, but you were lead to people of like minds. The quote you read was an accident either, me thinks. I would say you are on the right path, wouldn't you? Remember this: FEAR IS MAN MADE...

I love quotes and use them for my own purpose in practically every faucet of my life. I think they can inspire us, make us feel our worth, and give us gentle pushes and reminders of how great life is and not to waste it on things like fear and worry. Erma Bombeck was a master at this I think.

Anyway, good for you!

JJ

Good for you Robin - just as JJ said, you have found a new friend. I'm glad we all could keep you pumped up and ready to meet the challenge of sitting down with her.....it wasn't so painful after all!!!

Not painful at all, Thanks.

I love quotes too! Especially when you unexpectedly find one that hits home.

Robin, your son made you believe in yourself as a writer.

Had it not been for his comment you wouldn't have moved to the conclusion that you are indeed a writer. Keep submitting...

He helped you profess your profession!

I experienced something similar while on the path to launching my project.

I interviewed an author friend of mine for a class I was taking. During the interview I shared that I had an IDEA for a book and a new journey for myself.

I wasn't going to tell her what it was because I hadn't worked it all out yet. She encouraged me to tell her because when sharing ideas they become real.

It was so true. From that day forward I knew the project would come to fruition and was a gift from God.

I believe the same is true for you.

Now that you are telling people you are a writer...watch out...your life is going to change. It's the new you!

[ November 21, 2004, 11:54 AM: Message edited by: Dotsie ]

Thanks Dotsie!
If I can accomplish half of what you have already done, I'd be happy!
Your project is a lifesaver for many and alot of fun for the rest!
God bless you Dotsie.