WE are Women

Ladies, I'm going to sound-off on something that I find most irritating.

I take offense when some barely out of her teens female is referred to as a woman. This statement is usually made pertaining to some flavor of the month music star, model, or film actress. The influence of the visual media has affected the reasoning of the minds of the general public, it seems, for said public is quick to grant so lightly, to untried females, celebrities or not, a title that carries with it such weight of meaning.

A girl, Ladies, an immature, inexperienced girl, may, by virtue of her graduation from her teens, claim the right to the light weight title, young woman, but by no means, has she earned the right to the heavy weight title of full-fledged woman. Why, she hasn't lived enough of life! She hasn't savored enough of the sweet, or suffered enough of the bitter, to warrant such an honor. She has barely begun the journey of emotional, intellectual, and spiritual growth, that leads to the right to bear the title.

I was thirty the first time I thought of myself as a woman. I realized at the age of fifty, bestowing that title upon myself at that age was an audacious act. At thirty I may have had some small inkling of what it means to be a woman, but I was far from having attained the real status that accompanies the position. Finally, now at the age of fifty-four, I may state, 'I am a woman' with more soul felt certainty, and firm belief in my right to do so, than ever before in my life.

WE are women, Ladies. WE have earned the right to the title.

http://www.intouchwithjeannine.com

Here here Jeannine!

amen!

I'm with you, Jeannine!

With each passing year I am happy to claim my womanhood with more certainty. And I intend to do so with the years to come.

How do you feel about the term young woman?

I am in full agreement. (Same goes for men, tho' - I really don't consider most 25 year young men, a man).

But how 'bout this? Lately, a few cashiers, namely younger men, have addressed me as "young lady". I am sure they do this in order to deflect the obvious, and also to obtain my goodwill toward their establishment. Worked just the opposite with me. Feeling that I have earned every gray hair on my head, I think I would prefer "Ma'am" to young lady...

Searcher

How about being called honey. Does that bother anyone but me??? It is like scratching ones nails accross the board in my mind! eeek. There is a guy in my networking group who calls me that. I know he doesn't mean anything. I'm going to ask him not to. It just irrates me like mad!

The only person I want calling me honey is MY honey!

A young woman at McDonalds (I was getting grub for the kiddos) called me "dear". She was all of 17. ughhhhh!

danita

This past week, I was stopped for speeding. I was apologizing to the policeman and frantically looking for the insurance card. He smiled and said, "That's okay "Honey," I'll just give you a warning. Now you just be careful, you hear?"

I was thankful to be called honey. it was sort of sweet.

"Honey" is a term of endearment around these parts and it is not restricted to mates. I just love southern men.

smile

The thing about being called 'honey' is funny. One time I went with my daughter to pick up food. We decided to see how long it would take before someone called me 'honey.' Sure enough, the gal in the drivethrough, who was younger than my daughter, said, "Here you go, Hon." She probably wondered why my daughter and I started laughing like crazy.

I'm called "honey" or "sweetie" constantly. I'm not sure if it's a regional thing. Might be. I might not be so special. lol! But my daughter thinks it's funny anyway.

As for being a 'woman,' I think I first felt like a woman after I had my first child in my twenties. But now? I'm reverting to being a kid again. No, not really. Just when I write for children.

Searcher, I'm with you. I can't stand those types of comments. I think they're condescending.

I also don't like it when men make flirtatious type comments either. I'm tough!

I call my daughter's friends that come and go in our home, honey. It's a term of endearment. I love them.

I think it depends on who's saying it and what they're intention is.

Donna, the big word in Baltimore that makes everyone laugh is HON!

Howya doin'hon?

If you really want to get your knickers in a knot just come to Vegas where every waitress becomes a big fat flirt, they not only ignore you, the woman but they look right into Mr.s eyes and coe, "and how may I help you sweetie?"
They don't just flirt but insist on touching the mens shoulders or their hand. I got really ticked off on many many occasions but I got even, when the check came I'd hand her the money and when the change came and we got up to leave, I'd hand her .02 cents or a nickel and say, "looks like you wasted all that shameful flirting, I handle the money." Serves them right the cows....

[ March 06, 2006, 08:41 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]

Chatty, you know how to handle any situation, don't you? You're one in a million!

I just hate it when some woman looking for a big tip makes advances of any kind to a man I'm with and the same for a waiter in a fancier dinner house. I just say right out to them when and if they call me honey or sweetie in front of my man (at the moment, LOL) "Better be careful, he handles the money in this family, and he carrys a gun." The ones, waiter or waitress that conduct themselves properly always get a nice big tip, never less that $5.00 to $15.00 bucks....depending on the establishment....We dont go to a restaurant for the 'help' we go for the food, right?

[ March 06, 2006, 10:55 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]

I know women in their twenties (my DIL included), who by their wisdom, compassion and humor, deserve to be called women.

I know "women" of many ages who are snotty, snippy and trite, who no more deserve that precious title than the man on the moon.

It is all relative.

Flipperjo, both my daughters are now in their early thirties, and I consider them two fine young women. Yet from my vantage point of some twenty or so years their senior, I see for myself, the evolution of being, they continue to exhibit.

A conversation with my eldest daughter sparked, in part, my original post. She had mentioned to me that she felt as though she was just beginning to get a handle on this being a woman thing. She's thirty-three. She said she honestly realizes how far she has yet to go, in her journey toward fulfilling her potential. She confided in me that she feels she has grown so much, intellectually, spiritually, and emotionally, from who she was ten years ago, to who she is today. Light years beyond her old self, is how she put it.

I told my daughters when they were in their teens, there was one comment I hoped I would never hear, when speaking to someone I hadn't seen in awhile. If after an hour or so of conversation, I ever heard, 'Why! You haven't changed a bit!’ I should then be highly disappointed in myself. My eldest daughter told me she has never forgotten my words.

Flipperjo, I believe we may have had the mutual misfortune of meeting many of the same women...the snippy, the trite and the down-right snotty, whose personal growth as human beings has been, and will continue to be, negligible. One can merely feel sympathy, for such, and a sense of gratitude, that one strives not to share their self-growth restricting traits.


http://www.intouchwithjeannine.com

I think we agree on the basics, Jeannine. I applaud you for teaching your daughters that we are all a work in progress!

Flipperjo, I'm sure we agree on the basics.

Oh, and did I ever run into one of those snotty, snippy women, we discussed! One old enough to know better. One of those, 'there-is-no-one-else-in-the-world-but-me' types. She was venting her spleen on some poor young cashier, who, in Ms Snippy's opinion, was taking far too long at her job, and didn't the girl realize how valuable was her (Ms Snippy's) time! The cashier was very young, and you could tell, she was a newbie at the job. By the time Ms Snippy was finished with her, the girl was visibly trembling. I felt sorry for the young cashier, and embarrassed at the behavior of Ms Snippy.

http://www.intouchwithjeannine.com

Makes you want to rip that "Woman" badge right off her chest, doesn't it?

I've always thought cashiers, bank tellers, waitresses and all the other minimum wagers on the front lines should get the biggest salaries!

[ March 09, 2006, 12:35 AM: Message edited by: flipperjo ]

No kidding! And I would have had a hard time keeping my mouth shut. Actually, I probably wouldn't have and thereby would have been expelled from the store forevermore. Reminds me of the Natzie Soup Guy on Seinfeld - 'member that?

Now there's an idea, Flipper, let's just invert those salaries and see what happens next!!!!! No more Enron!

Search (that's really funny to think about)