I am NOT a traveler

Although it seems to be my fate now.

Not that I mind a nice vacation every so often. But that hardly makes up for trying to find our way through the international maze of various regulations and company imposed living conditions and languages that I don't comprehend and....all I really want is a home that is mine.

I do not like living in *exotic* countries. I do not like the visa/residency/language problems. I do not look forward to encountering exotic cultures and foods and customs. I'm tired of trying to figure out which way is up and which side of the international dateline I live on and where Greenwich Meantime is and which side of it I am on and how to buy a bus ticket in some place I have never seen before. Not.

Traveling is not my thing. I would sell my soul right now for a house on a foundation on any continent where I could stay forever and ever and would be mine. A home I would never have to leave again.

Some people envy my position. If I could, I would hand it to them on a silver platter and say "Here, you go and live in some unknown place where you have no friends and no idea what is going on because you can't speak whatever language is spoken in whatever country this is, go and be excited with the adventure of it all. I'm going home to tend my roses." Yes, I would love to say that.

I hate being an international vagabond. I really do. (but don't tell anybody else. Our secret I'm such a weiner)

*sigh*

mrs_madness

I, for one, don't want to change places with you... but, I will tend your rose bushes. I'm a homebody at heart and can certainly hear what you are saying. May I be so bold at asking, why can't you change your situation and find a place with a homestead to live in and never leave ever?

Mrs Madness, I suspect that most of those people who might envy you might also be the ones who heave big sighs at the end of vacation and say "it's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there".

I hear you! I enjoy traveling, but really love coming home too. Sounds like this impending move is overwhelming - it's not like moving to another city in the same country, as many of us here would be familiar with. You're moving into an entirely new country with a vastly different culture, language and food. As fun as it sounds to VISIT and experience all of that, I would be overwhelmed at having to move and LIVE there indefinitely.

My heart is with you. You're not a weiner. You're understandably overwhelmed with the never-ending inundation of "newness" in every aspect of your life right now!

How many different countries have you lived in mrs. madness?

Still, it must be abit tiring.
Where I work, we have a large percentage of foreign employees..meaning ex-patriate employees hired directly from outside of Canada. Some have dragged around their wife, children for past few years worldwide.

And most of the married/coupled ex-pat employees in our organization are male...which means its their wives that have to endure.

Some wives I've met, are highly intelligent, assertive women who did have great former paid work careers. Wonder how some of these marriages last..

It would be exciting for maybe 1-2 country placements, but thereafter, particularily when children are involved, it would be stressful.

My office is adjacent to several offices of other managers whose spouse or partner are living in a different country at this time.

But this is common worldwide --in engineering construction projects. This is how engineers can make their careers --international assignments...while they try to keep some semblance of a family life.

I do hear from these well-travelled folks who can speak English, of their adjustments to find accommodation on short notice, figure out local health care, etc.

Mrs. madness, if you don't mind me asking: Would your marriage be different..if you didn't have to move around for your hubby's job?

I always thought I could be a military wife, because I thought I love moving around and discovering new places. But after reading your post; you have described the reality of things, and I don't think I would like a life like that either. How many years do you still have to do this, Mrs. madness? And when you settle down, do you have and particular place in mind?

Oh Mrs Madness you are no whiner. I would hate to move around continously. From stste to state is bad enough, but country to country, nope not for me... I don't even like vacations that much. Now if you enjoyed continent hopping as some do then swell, lots to look forward to. But I am a definite homebody now. Didn't use to be but times have changed. I hope you get your wish one day...

I can relate to wanting to be a home body after all these years. I love to get away, but it's always fantastic to get back home. Do you think it's our age?

mrs madness, how do you go about meeting new people?

I keep meaning to get back to this but then something comes along and my brain turns to compost and I couldn't construct a thought to save my life.

I visit a couple of travel websites since we sometime go places, and see that there are plenty of people who are dedicated to traveling like it was some kind of holy grail. They all have nics ending in "trekker" and "wanderer" and disparage people dull enough to stay home and be content. And I don't get it.

I have no idea what's so great about going to some 3rd world country (let's face it, a whole lot of places on this earth are 3rd world countries) where people live in poverty and deprivation and say to yourself "This is brilliant! I'm having such an enlightening experience here!" Fooling around for weeks or months and then going back to their 1st world homes all aglow with their enlightment. I don't get it. I just find it all to be largely depressing. Yet they talk about it like it was the be-all end-all of living to the fullest.

Traveling (as opposed to vacationing) is a major pain in the a$$. Living abroad is even worse. I just don't understand how so many people have it so romanticized as though it's the highest possible goal in life. I hate traveling.

But I haven't been in the best of moods lately.

We've got umpteen visa problems and passport expiration problems, and odious company required medical testing, and housing contract issues....

And it all just looks so much easier to me to have an actual home and just stay in it. Do whatever you want. No medical oversight, no government interference, no incessant applications and orientations, no visa required.

Staying home rocks. Vacationing is nice. Traveling is just a pain.

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I have no idea what's so great about going to some 3rd world country (let's face it, a whole lot of places on this earth are 3rd world countries) where people live in poverty and deprivation and say to yourself "This is brilliant! I'm having such an enlightening experience here!" Fooling around for weeks or months and then going back to their 1st world homes all aglow with their enlightment. I don't get it. I just find it all to be largely depressing. Yet they talk about it like it was the be-all end-all of living to the fullest.

Traveling (as opposed to vacationing) is a major pain in the a$$. Living abroad is even worse. I just don't understand how so many people have it so romanticized as though it's the highest possible goal in life. I hate traveling.

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At this very moment, I am vacationing in a mountain ski resort area about 400 km. northeast of Vancouver. Would I want to live here? Well no, not beyond several months. And this is CAnada. AS I have said, if I live anywhere in the world, it must be close to public transportation and preferably with some routes that allow bikes.

And I am here in Canada where there are many places I could only live 2-3 yrs, particularily for rural areas. I even was interviewed for a job in the Arctic. I would have wnated to be there merely from the LEARNING perspective since there is a strong Inuit community there where rest of Canada just forgets about them.

It is nice to live somewhere where: government is stable(not at war); health care services are reliable and not expensive; transportation system is reliable and safe; food is safe and diverse; telecommunications infrastructure is excellent (not every place in world has cheap Internet and phone services) and above all, a place where there are interesting things to experience often and things aren't just the same all the time.

Maybe for some folks who boast about their exotic travels..just don't express their secret wish that they're glad they don't live in a 3rd world country that they visited.

For myself, madness I prefer to live in a world where there is a mix of people from different socio-economic-ethnic backgrounds that mingle well along each other.

Your other choice is if you have your own bank account...and choose to live separately from hubby for awhile in a country that you desire long-term. This latter choice is not entirely desirable if the marriage is rocky..but possible for 1-2 years if communication is maintained frequently with committment for exchange of visits.

Where did you say you were going to in China? Where would you and hubby like to live long-term when neither of you are working?