Mentoring girls/young women to be strong

Posted by: orchid

Mentoring girls/young women to be strong - 09/04/07 05:38 PM

I am so pleased that my niece is really at the vanguard of her future.

She just graduated from university in geophysical engineering and for past 2 years had a summer job working on mathematical modelling software for a geotechnical firm. She even worked part-time during the school yr. and....emailed her completed work 400 kms. awayy back to her boss.

She was sent on a business trip by plane, within 4 wks. after she graduated to another Canadian city over 1,000 kms. away.

Then she took time out for backpacking a few weeks in Europe with 2 other gals.

Now she is renting her own apartment and will be commuting full-time by bus closeby.

She is 22 yrs. old. Has a boyfriend (in civil engineering). She is a lovely, slim woman, obviously smart and no, she rarely wears makeup. And no, fashion is NOT a priority to her. Thank God....

I say she is your model career woman of the future.

Please tell all your girls to focus on the priorities in life.... their future is promising, if they see the full range of job and educational opportunities.
Posted by: Edelweiss

Re: Mentoring girls/young women to be strong - 09/04/07 07:45 PM

Your niece's life sounds like a perfect puzzle...with no pieces missing.

I wish I had used my potential when I was younger. It never ceases to amaze me how many young people recognize the seriousness of doing their best in school in order to have a successful career. Good for her…and keep on beaming proud Aunty!
Posted by: Dotsie

Re: Mentoring girls/young women to be strong - 09/04/07 10:21 PM

Isn't it wild to see young people doing all the right things? It makes my heart sing.
Posted by: Mountain Ash

Re: Mentoring girls/young women to be strong - 09/05/07 09:49 AM

I agree young women need mentoring and your niece is an example.
Let me show that so do young men...often when I dealt with school Mothersn(under 16) the girl was the focus.But what about the young Daddy ? In time they will both mature and think about what happened.The child grows up into this scenario.
My belief is that we owe the young good education.We owe them choices..
Many women who do go on to university start a career then marry later..then have to make other choices re. children later than many of us did.
Some men do not like a "clever" woman and without equal education the world as we know it will be very different.
Lots to think about.
Mountain ash
Posted by: orchid

Re: Mentoring girls/young women to be strong - 09/05/07 07:36 PM

One only hopes that young women like my niece will make the best decision about children....if she wishes to have a child.

She has degree that is in hot demand at this time....in North America and worldwide since there is alot of work that requires engineering expertise in the mining, energy and construction sectors right now.

I actually socialize with alot of women in my age range 43-50 who did go to university but never had children/are single. So it's the tail-end of the boomer women generation who are making these choices with different results to their lives. And sometimes it's just simply how life unfolds.

What is initially tough is if a woman has a good job now and what she decides if her partner moves elsewhere. I've been there and it was a tough choice which I delayed for several years in making the final choice.

All of young niece's aunts and her mother have university degrees (6 women: from her mother's side and father's side combined), with 4 women majoring in applied sciences.

I agree that we must not also forget the boys...for their education.

Niece's brother is just riding high in biochemistry in university right now. His parents had to spend more time when he was a child to redirect his mischeviousness and higher energy so that it was productively channelled. (ended up being competitive swimming for a few yrs. ) If it weren't for that, he might have gotten into all sorts of trouble.
Posted by: Dotsie

Re: Mentoring girls/young women to be strong - 09/06/07 01:36 PM

I think the mentoring needs to begin in middle school (grades 6,7,8). It seems kids can get off track so very young these days.
Posted by: orchid

Re: Mentoring girls/young women to be strong - 09/07/07 04:04 AM

Would agree with you Dotsie. Don't know about other folks here, but at that age bracket, it was pivotal for myself ...it was a time I felt quite creative, productive and open to many good experiences that were available...while my body was physically starting to show signs of womanhood. I was reading voraciously tons of books, doing art that I gleaned from school exercises, writing poetry and winning a few prizes along the way. Yes, I was also mastering the bike well, since I didn't learn to bike until I was 11 yrs. old.

Looking back, if it weren't for that golden, but young pivotal time period,I wonder how long it would have taken me to build my self-confidence. It was important phase of my maturation ...and good thing..it happened near the beginnning of womanhood.

It is important to understand that my parents tolerated my poetry and art at that time..they were afraid I would choose an financially unstainable, impractical path later in life. they did not shower me with much praise over this.

So the encouragement came distantly from some teachers...and ego tripping from winning these contests. This works for hermit-like children who like to swing out on their own and get lost in their own fantasy world ..discovering the creative Muse, was an escape for me....which made other teenage problems and poverty not so impossible to cope with. After all, there was no money for me to take art/craft classes outside of school.

However probably alot of teenagers need way more verbal support and interest from adults for guidance.

Posted by: Dotsie

Re: Mentoring girls/young women to be strong - 09/07/07 01:42 PM

orchid, I enjoy hearing about your life as a kid. Are you still writing poetry and entering contests? If not, why not?

Our youngest son is in to the arts and I can't help but encourage him. Photography and film making are his passions. While I know it's hard to break in to the arts, I have faith that if he's living his passion, he will be successful. It all depends on our definition of success.
Posted by: orchid

Re: Mentoring girls/young women to be strong - 09/08/07 06:22 AM

Quote:

orchid, I enjoy hearing about your life as a kid. Are you still writing poetry and entering contests? If not, why not?

Our youngest son is in to the arts and I can't help but encourage him. Photography and film making are his passions. While I know it's hard to break in to the arts, I have faith that if he's living his passion, he will be successful. It all depends on our definition of success.



Haven't written poetry in..decades. My writing skill if any left, has been the odd article here and there related to the organizations I volunteered for. (<--Whoa, that was a grammatically horrible sentence.)

Hope your son always keeps his artistic skill/interests somehow as part of his life forever. It will save him..from becoming ...dull and stagnant...and far from the maddening crowds.

Last week I met up with a woman (also a boomer) who recently got permanently injured neurologically due to a medical malpractice problem during surgery. She did graduate from a nationally recognized art college but now she cannot properly draw, paint. But she revels in her nephew who just had photographic gallery showing in Toronto. She is the perfect aunt to buy the right art supplies for any aspiring child.

Posted by: Danita

Re: Mentoring girls/young women to be strong - 09/08/07 12:48 PM

I was in Walmart last week - waiting PATIENTLY in line to check out.

I spotted a mother, father, and son. The parents looked like drug addicts, for sure. The son had dark circles around his eyes. The parents started to have a quiet arguement - the mother left (the worst looking one of the bunch), the dad and son stood in line for about 2 minutes then disappeared, leaving the cart behind with a gallon of milk, and a few pieces of clothing for the boy.

I stood there and had to hold back the tears. My heart just broke for that boy. There are children in the world being raised in hard situations. My heart was just crying out, "how can I make a difference for kids like that?"

So, I went to church on Sunday (there IS a point to this story)...and the pastor shared this story (most of us have seen it on the net)

Once a man was walking along a beach. The sun was shining and it was a beautiful day. Off in the distance he could see a person going back and forth between the surf's edge and and the beach. Back and forth this person went. As the man approached he could see that there were hundreds of starfish stranded on the sand as the result of the natural action of the tide.

The man was stuck by the the apparent futility of the task. There were far too many starfish. Many of them were sure to perish. As he approached the person continued the task of picking up starfish one by one and throwing them into the surf.

As he came up to the person he said, "You must be crazy. There are thousands of miles of beach covered with starfish. You can't possibly make a difference." The person looked at the man. He then stooped down and pick up one more starfish and threw it back into the ocean. He turned back to the man and said, "It sure made a difference to that one!"

I had goose bumps. I realized that I can't help ALL the children, but I can make a difference to just one.

So, I've contacted the "big sister" program, and am looking into a long term mentoring relationshiip with a young girl.

They start the mentoring relationship with these girls young - 4th or 5th grade.

Now that I have an empty nest - I look forward to mentoring someone else' daughter.

danita
Posted by: Dotsie

Re: Mentoring girls/young women to be strong - 09/09/07 01:32 PM

orchid, about your boomer friend. We have a local artist who is wheelchair bound. He is one determined painter. He straps a brush to a hat he wears and paints like moving his head. When there's a will, there's a way.

I believe my son will always have this passion. I have a feeling he will be photographing and filming for the rest of his life. He is blessed to have discovered his passion at such a young age, and I often tell him that.

Danita, it's great to see you! I've heard that story before, but it's good to be reminded. Please tell us about your little girl once you are assigned.

As soon as our oldest left for college, Ross started mentoring a young fella at a local orphanage. He has visited him every single week, without missing one week, for over four years now. Last month Ross was mentor of the month. Yahoo. Anyway, he often questions what difference he is making in this child's life, if any. I trust that he is, but it's not always visible. My deepest concern is what will happen to this child when he is too old for the orphanage...
Posted by: orchid

Re: Mentoring girls/young women to be strong - 09/11/07 04:28 AM

Methinks my friend has quietly left her art days behind. It's a struggle for her now to keep running her business --she works solo. She does engraving on jewellery, etc. She is a single, divorced mom. Her 2 children are around 19 yrs.

She's a real survivor...she's switched from cycling to...turbojam! And has lost 20 lbs. Now she is working towards teaching it.

Her art background/mentoring is probably bringing her closer to her daughter who has dreams of interior design.

I hope your hubby doesn't give up on his mentoring role. I bet he's a great listener for the youngster. How old is this boy?
Posted by: Dotsie

Re: Mentoring girls/young women to be strong - 09/11/07 02:13 PM

He is now 12. I think that's right. He won't give up on him. The sad part is that the child can only stay another couple years and then he has to go somewhere else.