Off to College

Well, Devon is off, but it is a rocky start. Since she is there 10 days early because of her job (student athletic trainer) there aren't that many kids there with her. She is the only student in her dorm on the first floor. Her training for the trainer position is rigorous. They start at 7:15 a.m. and end around 11:30 pm. To date she has taped 35 ankles. Of course there are breaks, but it is a long day in a strange place. So with all things combined, there have been lots of tears. She will be busy all weekend, so I can't go and see her. I am just the "ear" and cheerleader right now. I have had my own share of tears here at home, and it is difficult to hear her having a hard time. Needless to say, it has been a crappy couple of days.

I knew that I would have my own pangs without her being at home daily, but I didn't expect her reaction. When my son left he only got homesick about 3 weeks in and it passed quickly. Sometimes it is so hard to be a mom.

I'm so sorry to hear this because I know it makes us crazy on the home front. How many days until her roomies move in? Is anyone from her school going there?

I can't believe the hours they have her working. That's insane. Do you think some of the tears are from being over-tired?

Does she have anyone to eat with?

hotflashgirl, don't you feel as if you should be moving in with her... I remember when our first daughter went off to college. We loaded her up and headed north (north, as in Texas - big country). The trip up was fine, but once everything was unloaded and her room arranged (as much as she'd let us), and we had to go away, I had this horrible feeling of needing to stay with her.
It's tough, but once they change into that beautiful young adult, outside our care, it's priceless.
We're there and here with you on how you're feeling.

(((hotflash))
Last year was my first year to have my dd live away at a University.(we did community college here in town for the first year and a half) Boy, I cried my eyes out. Even grocery shopping was sad without her. I got better after we started emailing and phoning each other. And I got to get up there a few times for visits.
It's just bittersweet to see them off on their own, and you just miss them so darn much----things are just different without them.
(((hugs)) to you, I know how you're feeling.

That really is a long day she is putting in. Is she taking other classes as well? What year is she in at school?-
I hope you all adapt to the changes soon.
p.s. --I'll be joining you in about a week---will be helping my dd move back up to college next Friday.

Thanks ladies! I think today is better. Only one phone call so far and no tears! I do think a lot of it was that she was over tired. She hadn't slept well during the days leading up to her leaving with the anticipation and the packing. She does have companionship with the other trainers and she says they are nice. I just don't think she had any idea how much work was involved in the training process. It is a good thing that real classes don't begin until the 26th. Right now she is just preparing for the practical and the trainer's test.

I do miss her. It just feels off. I spent a good part of the day crying...I must admit. So, I will just give myself a couple of days of boohooing to get over it. My husband is a total waste with this. I can't even talk to him about it because even with his own children he is very matter of fact and he has always thought that I babied her, so I am pretty much just hibernating in my room right now. The last thing I need to do is have an argument with him. Her father, with whom I have a pretty decent relationship has been pretty good. He will go with me to the parent's weekend next Saturday.

Thanks to all of you for your kind words. I know this will pass, and as Gims said, her evolution will be priceless.

hotflashgirl, I'm sorry for all this greiving. Of course it's normal and you wouldn't be a good Mom if you didn't feel it.
I had tears when my son's went off to college and when they went out of the country for the first time to study. I think with girls it's harder though. It sounds like you have a splendid relationship with your daughter. You must trust that you raised her well and she will do fine.
I know the pressure of coaching during college. I had to teach dance while I went to school and it was very hard. I cried a lot from tiredness and pain. I finally got used to it and my body could deal with the demand, as well as my nerves settling, and I got on with it. She will be able to deal with the physical demands before you know it and she will be all the better of an athlete for it. What is her sport?
Keep posting, ok?
Dancer

Hey Dancer,
Thanks for replying. She isn't playing a sport, she is being trained to be an athletic trainer. Since she is a physical therapy major this will be great experience. Even though she was a student trainer in high school, this is much more. I think it is a combination of being homesick and tired as well as apprehensive about all of the new things she is required to know. The RA arrives tomorrow, so at least there will be someone else on her dorm floor. When I talked to her tonight there was a little weepiness and she said these have been the longest 3 days. My son never would have admitted to being homesick. Girls are so different. You are right, we do have a wonderful relationship and I am glad I can be here for her even though it is over the phone. She is so sweet, it breaks my heart to hear her so sad, but this will pass. I love having women who have been hear to be a sounding board. Thanks so much.

hotflash, even though some of the calls have been teary, aren't you glad she's calling YOU? Someday, you'll reflect on these first college conversations and realize how close she must have felt to you to pour her heart out the way she is. Counting the days until Sunday.

We sent one son off to SC to college and then a couple years later, sent our last two off at once )they were in the same grade). A friend advised us to plan a fall trip so we'd have soemthing to look forward to so we did. We planned a couple little get-aways and it really helped. Keeping yourself occupied is a good thing. When do you go back to school?

Counting the days until Saturday with you.

Hotflash,
Your post brought back a flood of memories of leaving our own 2 son's at college, both quite a different tale. Our oldest, was Ready & wnet just 2 weeks before classes for orientation..He also had 7 HS friends going too. His biggest problem was that I didn't cry upon leaving. When he asked me about it, his Dad laughed and told him of my ride home. I purposly did not cry due to his new room mate's mom totally loosing composure & our son's reaction, saying he hoped I didn't do that. So, I didn't but, very quiet on the way home, till My D says, "he'll be fine"...Well open the FLOOD GATES! LOL I cried till I was mad at him for even speaking to me. When our 2nd son left he was in the work program that started 6 weeks before the orientation...he loved our country life & missed his horses, roping etc..(#1 was more of a 'head to town guy'..anyhow, #2's previous room dwellers still had his dorm room a mess, so he couldn't arrange anything & hardy had a place to sleep for all their junk. But choose to tough it out VS going to his brothers apartment to sleep. He called the first night in tears! I listened, cried got angry w/ him at the condition of his room..etc..At my encouragement, the over the next rwo days he found help - moved all the left behind junk into the dorm room joining his (informed the RA of it), got his room straight..& by that evening after one day's on campus work, he calls to let me know how the day went, room was clean & a couple minutes later..""Gotta GO Mom, meeting the guys to go out for pizza..Love ya""...LOL Seperation anxiety was over. #2 was more dificult since he was our last to leave home and graduated at 17y/o. Moved on Campus just before turning 18.
May I throw in here how wonderful it is that you and your X are collectivily good to go as parents. As a child of divorce I can not tell you enough how much better it is to see your parents do well together for events in their childs life. My folks were amazing at this & it is a comfort. Hang in there, be proud of your daughter as I know you are, be proud of your relationship that she calls mom vs some friend, The blessings are yours.

Hi Everyone....you are all so wonderful. Thanks. So far so good today. More kids are moving in and she cut our lunch time conversation short to go check things out. Oh boy, this is quite a ride!!!

hotflashgal,
Soon, before you know it, it'll be: No news is good news! It will mean she is busy and adjusted to life "on her own!" THAT is another letting go exercise. It is hard to realize they don't need us for each decision! I have just been through that but my second son was not so emotional about leaving home. However, if he is in India studying, he wants to talk all the time and gets a bit frightened. They are like toddlers; They go as far away from us as they can and then when it gets tough, they come running back to us!

Be Well,
Dancer

And then it gets hard when they don't need you becasue your'e so busy, but you have the need to catch up with them. It sure is a ride!

Hotlash, as more people arrive and she makes friends, you'll hear from her less, which is a good thing. Do you think she'll click with most of the kids at the school? Do you think this school is a good match for her?

Took another technology step and got a webcam today. It was great to talk face to face or should I say screen to screen. It was great fun and she looked awesome! No tears today!! Things are moving forward just like they should.

Thanks ladies!!

Hi Ladies...here is an update.

I saw my girl on Saturday for the real move in day. She is doing so well. She loves her roommate, has gotten over her homesickness, for the most part, she misses my cooking) has made friends, and even has a nice boy interested in her. Her school is in a very quaint, small town and he took her for ice cream on Sat. at an old fashioned ice cream parlor down town.

Since she never dated in high school, and by the end of her senior year was very disappointed by that, I think that Adam, has given her quite a boost. I actually met him, and he had such a great smile on his face when he saw her. He shook my hand and her father's hand. Too cute.

So, what a difference 11 days can make!

OH WOW... a boy, yet!
I am so excited for her.

This is so exciting. What a roller coaster ride of emotions. Friendships, whether with a boy or girl, can make all the difference in the world. It's all about finding soemone to share life with. Sounds like she's doing grand! What a relief, huh?