Senior Golf Logic

Senior Golf Logic

A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm. "These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," one complained.
"These fairways seem to be getting longer too," said one of the others.
"The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too," said the third senior.
After hearing enough from his senior buddies, the oldest and wisest of the four of them, at 87 years old, piped up and said, "Just be thankful we're still on the right side of the grass!"

Would You Marry Again, Scummy? Senior Golf Logic

A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the woman asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?"
The man said, "No dear."
The woman said, "I'm sure you would."
So the man said, "Okay, I would"
Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?"
And the man replied, "Ya, I guess so."
Then the woman asked, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?"
And the man replied, "No, she's left handed."

Love these! I'm sending them to all my golf buddies. I have never understood the power of that game and the draw it has on people. I went ONE TIME and that was with my ex...Noooooobody told me that when the ball is hit into the woods, or next to a tree, they haven't LOST it, and they REALLY don't want you to pick it up and throw it back to them for a do-over. Who knew?

JJ

LOL, did you really throw the ball back JJ? What a scream. I used to play tennis but after a game I actually crawled out of the car. That's so hard on the knees...so, the only alternative was golf. I hated it the first year, but kept it up for Hubby's sake, and now I actually like it. I don't love it...but it's better than no sport. And believe it or not I loose about a pound after every game. It's so much fun gaining it back - between - games.

I love golf. Just love it. Once, I accidentally drove over my husband's golf ball with the cart. He just shook his head. I golfed with my son and he hit a drive into the trees so when we went looking for it, we found it next to a dead bird. Yup, he'd killed a bird with it.

My girlfriend and I played all the time and had so much fun and that's probably because we weren't serious golfers. The good ones don't joke around while playing. We would put an angel charm on the cart seat, between us, for good luck and to keep us from swearing. The first bad ball we hit, that charm was useless. The game is addictive.

Hey! Your son hit a birdie! Ha ha...For those that don't know; that's a good score in golf jargon. Your right about the addicitve thing, when I haven't played...I miss something. Is there a club near you? We're at our club within a 10 minute drive...Tomorrow we're playing Scramble. Do they call it that in English? Anyway it's nice to meet a fellow golfer. Can you believe that JJ threw the ball back to the players. I'm still laughing about that.

Yes, I can believe JJ did that and yes, they call it a scramble here too. No club by us but we're surrounded by courses. We belonged to a club in Ohio and really liked it. I miss that. Great exercise and there is nothing to compare with hitting the ball just right and hearing that "ping." Not that I've experienced it that often!

You couldn't PAY me to play golf. E-V-E-R!

It was a hot, muggy, typical Alabama day. Even your sweat glands had hired somebody to sweat for um. My hubby (at the time) was to play with his new boss. Wup-dee-do. He wanted me to go to make it look like a family thing. I'm 19. I didn't know much. I'm thinking, "What's the big deal? You hit a few balls, they go thru that windmill thing, badda bing, badda boom, we come back home." So I agreed to go.

Boy was I mistaken. There wasn't one windmill on the place and it looked like acres and acres of nothing but grass with a few liver-shaped sandboxes.

As I said, hot...muggy...and we had to smile. A lot. I finally got tired of them grinning at each other and be OH SOOO nice so I found a tree and stood under it. His BOSS hit a ball and it landed close to my feet. I had heard someone yelling but I was just far enough away that I couldn't understand what he said.

They were both waving their arms at me so I thought they wanted the dang ball. They were trying to get me to watch out. Who knew?

The ball landed very close, as I said. I bent down, picked it up, their arms were waving REALLY BIG TIME by then...

I threw it back. I use to play softball in a league so I had a pretty good arm. It landed right up there by them. At the time I can remember thinking, "ingrates...they're just standing there looking at me. No thank you, nothing."

As a result of my Good Samaratin act, I spent the rest of the afternoon in the car running the air, reading a book. Oh puleaseeeeee....don't throw me in that briar patch! HAHAHAH...what morons.

JJ

I can just picture it JJ! You make me laugh tears, honestly. Have you ever thought of making a book with your posts? Oh maaan. Actually I bet you'd be a great golf player. It helps to have a good sense of humour or else you go nuts.

Oh Lordy, JJ. What a story. Can't wait to tell my golfing buddies this one. I'm sure your husband's boss was impressed. Gads. This is too funny.

I'm tellin' ya....it's hard being me. Take any sport and I have a "poofah" story involving moi. With softball, it's actually a "poop-fah" story...ewwwww!

JJ

Loved it! I'm a golfer and will pass it on to my friends : )

When dating my second husband the one 22 years my senior who had been everywhere and done everything, so smart, yea just ask him? He insisted I learn the game of golf and he bought me a very nice set of womens clubs. Oh and I needed special shoes with metal thingies on the bottom. Learned the game, liked it and the Country Club was nice. One evening he said "get ready, dress casual we're going to the Club to help my brother with his golf business." I wore white summer sandals with a 2 inch heel, a pink summer dress and my hair up in a ponytail. When we got to the club we met Al and went and got into the golf carts, we needed two cause his was filled with buckets. Low and behold, his business was retrieving golf balls from the water holes. I ended up bare foot, dress tucked into my panties and up to my belly button in water lookig for golf balls. My husband who wore shorts got quite a laugh out of that. Bet a lot of you didn't know that retrieving balls from golf courses is a big business, then they take the balls to their shop and a machine washes them and polishs then for reuse. I looked like a drown rat that night....did my darling husband pay, you betcha he did.

These stories keep getting better. Maybe we should have a boomer golf tournament just for the laughs? Chatty, the metal thingy's are called cleats and they are now made of plastic.

You know, besides learning the game, you have to also learn all of the dumb, strict rules that go with it. It gets confusing. I was playing with a club league and the head of the group announced that today, we'll be playing by Winter rules. I didn't even know we had been playing by Summer rules. I still don't know the difference.

Love that story Chatty ! Hope you don't mind me telling it after our next game...impoooorted from U.S.A. Your right about finding those balls is a business within itself. Hubby and I once played in Spain. The golf club was practically empty, don't know why. Anyway Hubby hit the ball in the ruff. When he went over to look for it, three bearded heads popped up . I thought I was in a shooting gallery! They were homeless men, collecting golf balls to sell back to the golfers. We bought two bags, and then didn't know where to put them all.

I was playing with the league one day and my team continued to lose their balls. We were hitting each others balls and ended up playing with the driving range golf balls, which have zero lift, bounce or life. We cheated on our score card (gee, I took seven on the last hole so I'll take three on this one!) and our scores were so bad, we refused to turn them in because we didn't want them posting our handicap on the message board for all to read. I determined that golf is my handicap!