Poopie-ing

In honor of the "colon cleanse" topic...thought I would add this for a chuckle:

I'm sorry if this offends anyone! (not really!)

GHOST POOPIE: The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.

CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

WET POOPIE: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them with stains.

SECOND WAVE POOPIE: This happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to poopie some more.

POP-A VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD POOPIE: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

LINCOLN LOG POOPIE: The kind of poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

GASSY POOPIE: It's so noisy, that everyone within earshot is giggling.

DRINKER'S POOPIE: The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

CORN POOPIE: Self explanatory.

GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-POOPIE POOPIE: The kind where you want to poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

SPINAL TAP POOPIE: That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.

WET CHEEKS POOPIE (The Power Dump): The kind that comes out so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.

THE DANGLING POOPIE: This poopie refuses to drop in the toilet even though you are done poopie-ing it. You just hope that a shake or two will cut it loose.

THE SURPRISE POOPIE: You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you are about to fart, but *oops* --- a poopie!

My first laugh out loud today! Thanks!

Darn it, Danita, you did it again. Your posts are hazardous to my computer screen. From now on, when I see your name on a post, all drinks get put down.

[ June 03, 2005, 04:38 PM: Message edited by: Vicki M. Taylor ]

I have to admitt, I almost busted a gut when I was posting this! I guess my "evil side" knew that it would make you all laugh and spit stuff at your computer screen!

O.K. here's a story about spitting (I'm sooo full of "it" today...

I have a friend who was having cofee whith a friend at a coffee shop. Her friend had her back to the store's window.

Well something happened, and the coffee went down "the wrong" pipe.....needless to say - she blasted a FULL SIP of coffee directly into her friends face.

Now this is a French Canadian girl who is very proper....she liked to have died. THe friend casually got up to go clean up - and behind her on the window was her silhouette splattered in coffee.

OMG!

d.

Girl you are a trip, don't ever change...Those are things we have all experienced from time to time, not funny then maybe but oh so funny now.

I had an embarrassing moment something like that. Was having lunch with my girlfriend and we were all wrapped up in conversation and I went to take a drink of my iced tea and forgot there was a straw sticking out of the glass and it went up my nose so far, it stuck! I had to yank it out. Well, she just about died laughing so everybody in the restaurant is looking at us. We get up to go to the ladies room when leaving and she goes out the wrong door and this big alarm sounds. I just ran back into the ladies room and stayed for about 15 minutes. I never returned to that place! I had made quite a reputation for myself.

Thanks friends for sharing your funny moments! They gave me a lift this morning.

Dianne, rofl - wow...hmmm...I think you handled the whole straw in the nose thing well.

Danita, those posts were worth reading...months after they were posted. I needed a good laugh! Belated thanks!

Dutchy,

Thank you very much. My family and I found this to be VERY funny! Try reading it outloud to someone!

loves to laugh,
danita

Bringing this topic up to the top! It compliments the subject of farts, don't you think!

d.

Here are the poopie jokes once again for all to read or review, so dam funny...and I have experienced more of them that I care to discuss here...LOL

[ November 12, 2005, 08:13 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]

Danita

I don't get the coffee spitting thing......??????

Oh and uh - the poopie jokes were too funny - but I thought bodily function jokes were only for the male of our species!!! How wrong can a person be?

I only said fart #3 and 4 and we got 2 or 3 PAGES of discourse on this subject!!!LOL.

way to funny! i have to share it with one of my brothers. he and i both have warped since of humers. muahahahahahahahaha

Just read the "poopie ing" that list was just too dang funny Danita.

When my brother was in Honolulu in the navy some of the guys had the "runs." They were wearing their dress whites. Some had to go so badly but had to stand at attention for the Admiral's visit longer than their sphincter muscles could hold out. The stains were visible and very odiferous! Guess how they got cleaned up? They took a dip in the pool!! Ugh, anyone care for a swim in THAT pool?

OMG ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!! LOL

I'll second that!!!!! ewwwwwwwww!

Thats a "I stood at attention too long poopie"!!!

What about a "runners' poopie"....I've watched marathon races where the runners had poopie running down their legs!

TMI, I KNOW!

d.

YUK! YUK! YUK! Danita.......I love your sense of yumor. Keep it coming!
Lynne

Oh Danita, have you really???????????

I'm laughing so hard here!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yup. It's actually pretty sad. I don't think the good Lord expected us to run Marathons!

D.

Maybe they should just wear Depends when they do!

Depends wouldmake those skimpy little shorts look funny...lol


Sherri

Talked about packed in there!!!!


rotfpoopieingmypants!

D.