Words You Won't Find...

I get so many email jokes...

Words You Won't Find In the Dictionary...But Should
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Arachnoleptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Caterpallor (n.) The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

Decaflon (n.) The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Dopelar effect (n.) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Extraterrestaurant (n.) An eating place where you feel you've been abducted and experimented upon. Also known as an E-T-ry.

Faunacated (adj.) How wildlife ends up when its environment is destroyed. Hence faunacatering (v.), which has made a meal of many species.

Grantartica (n.) The cold, isolated place where art companies dwell without funding.

Hemaglobe (n.) The bloody state of the world.

Intaxication (n.) Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Kinstirpation (n.) A painful inability to move relatives who come to visit.

Lullabuoy (n.) An idea that keeps floating into your head and prevents you from drifting off to sleep.

I hope our resident humor writers see this one!

Speaking of new words...I recently purchased The Hippy Dictionary. I thought it would be a good reference for baby boomer lingo. It's unbelievable. There are so many drug terms in there, it's embarrassing. While browsing through I realized how many of those words began with our generation. There weren't too many illegal drugs prior to the baby boomers. Sad thought.

It's a fun book. Lots more than drug terms. A real walk down memory lane. You might want to check it out the next time you're in the library or book store.

I loved them! I copied them and sent them on to people. These are not only funny, but they are creative!

JJ

Just when you think you can't find anything else to laugh about BAM, along comes Meredith and shakes your world. I am still laughing and whiping the tears from my eyes. I just love this kind of stuff. I wish I were clever enough to think them up. I did write an advice column for a couple of years for The Bullit, a paper here owned by a Casino conglomerate. It was called:
FACE THE FACTS and was a no hold barred, funny yet pointenent answers to problems readers sent in. Had a ball with it until the paper folded.

Loved the post!!! I love alternative words and definitions...they just crack me up. I enjoy a good pun as well. Words, words, words don't we all just love words.

Came across this quote and thought it was very funny, thought you all might enjoy it also:

Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would.
The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.
--Augustine

Lala

I get jokes every day from friends but I only post the best ones here! This one came from a gal called Virginia Wynndale from my scrabble club. I'm not sure if she's the author.