Posted by: jawjaw
HUMOUR FOR LEXOPHILES - 04/08/08 01:24 PM
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger then it hit me.
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Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
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The biggest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
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The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
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To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
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When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
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The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
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Did you hear about the thief who stole a calendar and got twelve months?
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A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement and became a hardened criminal.
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When the smog lifts in Los AngelesU.C.L.A.
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The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
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The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
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If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
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A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
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A bicycle can't stand alone it is two tired.
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A will is a dead giveaway.
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Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana.
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A backward poet writes inverse.
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In a democracy it's your vote that counts in feudalism it's your Count that votes.
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A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
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With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
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When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
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The guy who fell into the upholstery machine was fully recovered.
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You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
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Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
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A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours' and 'Taint mine.'
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A boiled egg is hard to beat.
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He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
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When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
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If you jump off a Paris bridge you are in Seine.
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When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
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Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
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Acupuncture: a jab well done
-----------------------------------------------------
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
-----------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
-----------------------------------------------------
The biggest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
------------------------------------------------------
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
------------------------------------------------------
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
------------------------------------------------------
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
-------------------------------------------------------
The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
-------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the thief who stole a calendar and got twelve months?
-------------------------------------------------------
A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement and became a hardened criminal.
--------------------------------------------------------
When the smog lifts in Los AngelesU.C.L.A.
--------------------------------------------------------
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
----------------------------------------------------------
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
-----------------------------------------------------------
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
-----------------------------------------------------------
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
-----------------------------------------------------------
A bicycle can't stand alone it is two tired.
-----------------------------------------------------------
A will is a dead giveaway.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Time flies like an arrow fruit flies like a banana.
-------------------------------------------------------------
A backward poet writes inverse.
-------------------------------------------------------------
In a democracy it's your vote that counts in feudalism it's your Count that votes.
--------------------------------------------------------------
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
--------------------------------------------------------------
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
--------------------------------------------------------------
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
---------------------------------------------------------------
The guy who fell into the upholstery machine was fully recovered.
----------------------------------------------------------------
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours' and 'Taint mine.'
------------------------------------------------------------------
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
------------------------------------------------------------------
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
------------------------------------------------------------------
When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
If you jump off a Paris bridge you are in Seine.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Acupuncture: a jab well done
