December/January Contest

Two categories:

funniest post
post with the best advice

This is a little tricky but I'm willing to give it a try.

Prizes will be given to the woman with the funniest post and the woman who gives the best advice (in my opinion). Tee hee...I get to be the judge.

Go get 'em ladies...

OK I'll bite.

Here's one of my all time favourite poems. One question? Do we have to post here or just anywhere as we are answering posts

"ME MUDDER"

When my prayers were poorly said,
who tucked me in me widdle bed
and spanked me til me butt was red?

.......Me Mudder!

In the morning,
when the lights would come
and in me crib me dribbled some,
who wiped me widdle tiny bun?

.......Me Mudder!

Who took me from my cozy cot
and placed me on me ice cold pot
and made me pee-pee
when me could not?

.......Me Mudder!

Who's hair so gently she would part
and hold me tightly to her heart
and sometimes squeeze me
til I'd.....f rt?

.......Me Mudder!

Who looked at me with eyebrows drooped,
and screamed and yelled
til she had the croup
when in me Sunday pants I...p ped?

.......Me Mudder!

And at night when the bed did squeak
and me raised me head to have a peek
who yelled at me to go to sleep?

.......Me Fadder!!!!!

Best advice: " Listen to ya fadder!"

Thanks for the contest Dots. This is a great one.

Chickadee, This is hysterical and if I were the judge you would have already won and with our Sher and JJ around the corner thats saying something. I think maybe we need to add a third name to the comedians in this group and thats Chickadee. I also got a real chuckle about the cast remark....you go girl!

Chickadee

How cute....Thanks for sharing.

I gotta agree...this was hilarious! You go Chick...hey, wait a minute! Stay outta the humor arena, k? Just joshn' girl...

JJ

uh oh, another comedian. THAT WAS GREAT.

The posts are not only in this forum. All forums are game!

I don't get it. Are we supposed to post a story or poem or just a regular old post? Louisa

Chickadee, Girl... you are funny ! That was so cute !

Tim Wilson, comedian, had this to say about Martha Stewart:

"Boy, I feel safer now that she's behind bars. O.J. & Kobe are walking round, Scott Peterson's going to be soon, but they take the one woman
in America willing to cook and clean and work in the yard and haul her a __ to jail."

More truth than humor...

chickadee! I ain't even tryin' after that one! You had me ROFLOL! Thanks!

Donna

Louisa my understanding is the funniest post in ANY topic or the best given advice in ANY topic. Go for it, never know and theses tote bags are just the ticket. I already had 2 people wanting to know where I got mine....

Only two more weeks to add the funniest post, or the one giving the best advice.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is...

JJ

Or else he's married to me and knows a tantrum lurks inside the car and will erupt if I have to open the door.
smile

An Arkansas farmer got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring farm and knocked at the farmhouse door. A young boy about 9 opened the door.


"Is yer Dad home?" the farmer asked.


"No sir, he ain't," the boy replied. "He went into town."


"Well, said the farmer, is yer Mom here?"


"No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with Dad."


"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"


"He went with Mom and Dad."


The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.


"Is there anything I can do fer ya?" the boy asked politely. "I knows where all the tools are, if you want to borry one. Or maybe I could take a message fer Dad."


"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to yer Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant."


The boy considered for a moment. "You would have to talk to Pa about that",he finally conceded. "If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $50 for the bull and $25 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets fer
Howard."

Is this barnyard humor? I love it....

Ha ha,that's cute barnyard humor. Hard (short for Howard) ain't worth his salt, I'd say.
chickadee