The big taboo

Okay boomer women. i know your out there. i know this because three in five of you (60 out of 100) have had this happen to them. That is, 3 out of 5 have reported it. so it's probley more. I am a victim of it. Are you? If not is one of your friends?
You are wondering what i am talking about. Incest. That ugly word that no one likes to hear about. the one that we who are the victims of hide behind.
Why am I telling you this? Because I would not allow myself to deal with it until I was 38. Why wait that long to claim your life back? Why not start to take it back right now. The best way to start that is to admit to yourself that it happened and then to tell someone. the best person is a professional therapist. but any one close that will listen could help. believe it or not, saying it really does help. And a professional could help you to start to get your life back and feel good about yourself. Incest is ugly, but not on the victim, but on the perp.

You are right....it is the great taboo and for some reason most of us wait until mid thirties to deal with it....often after we've had children ourselves and start to feel vulnerable because of them....or because our children reach the age that we were when the abuse occured. A therapist, a friend, a minister.....talk to someone.

One of the worst things aobut waiting is just what you said, our children. I started to have flashbacks hitting me in the face every other munite when my daughter started puberty. i'm sure that was the trigger to my flashbacks. I wish I could have delt with this earlier. I feel so much better after going to a therapist. And now I don't care who knows. I want the world to know this happened. I am a survivor. I was a victim. Now THEY ARE THE A PERPS--GUILTY! Not Me!

SP, your choice of words is appropriate....you are not a victim....you are a SURVIVOR. I read a real good book on the topic a while ago called
"Secret Survivors". You might want to grab a copy. God Bless!

I have no personal experience with incest, thank God. But I do have a friend who was a victim and I was talking to her on the phone one day when it "surfaced" from her memory, causing her to tremble and cry uncontrollably. It frightened me that she would do something desperate. I urged and pleaded with her to see a professional, but she was married to a controlling jerk who not only kept her under his ugly thumb, but had committed the same crime himself earlier in their marriage. I stuck by her through her divorce and we have become best friends. We live in different states, so it is difficult for us to get together, but I am hoping to have her as a houseguest, along with her new husband sometime this summer.
I admire anyone who can find their way through such devastating experiences and not go completely bonkers. It must take great fortitude.
God bless you all.