Irritability.....how do I minimize????

Hey Gals,

I just thought I would post for some advice on the above!! I was 31 when I had a full ab hysterectomy...straight into menopause(I am 38 now). I have had various treatments in terms of h.r.t, managed to get a transdermal est patch that suited for 5yrs...it was fab along with supplements. For the first in years I slept well, I felt revitalised...I became more confident than I had ever been in my life...and I even got a libido. I then became aware that somethings were not as they should have been. Libido leaped up and left me, sleep went out the window along with self-esteem and it felt worse than before. I am now in the process of finding another treatment suitable for me...and my doc reassures me thatI am not going crazy and that all this is multifactoral and relational to hormonal imbalances...bla...bla...!!!
Most of my sympyoms I can manage while the search is in process....but more and more I find that my irritablity is getting way out of control...and affecting my relationship adversly. My partner realy has the patience of a saint.....it helps that we are a same sex couple.....but this stuff could break us. We have a little boy of who is nearly three....and I have a 20 yr old son from way back in my pretend hetro days( I carried the youngest in my heart). Yeah...we have the same stresses that most couples have, does anyone have any advice or tips that I may have missed?? It feels like a sand storm in my head and I am nearing my wits end with the frequency of these blow ups.
I am so glad I can turn to the forums....I don't have anyone outside of them to talk these things through with and be reassured that someone will have some advice.

With hope.

Popea

What are you asking us for? It's too early in the morning! You think we know everything? Get off my back!

Phew, okay, I feel better now. See, you're not the only one that's cranky! Popea, that was all a joke, I hope you know that now. I was trying to be funny. But, I'll tell ya, you are not alone!

My hubby just kind of stays quiet, or hugs me, or leaves the room (and so does the dog!) if I start showing my irritable side. He's pretty patient too. Actually, watching the dog slink away kind of makes me laugh sometimes and breaks the tension.

My crankiness is cyclical, but it still seems it comes out of nowhere in a burst of anger or whatever. The best thing I have done for it, is when I feel it coming on, I go take a walk. Out doors, and just long enough to release some of the stresss. Of course, when I get back and see that no one cleaned up the dishes, then it might just start again!

I wish I could help more - try to exercise, try to laugh, try not to throw things....

Take care,
Kathy

Kathy, you are a riot. Great reply.

popea, please know you aren't alone. I bet everyone in here has stories to tell. Here's what's helping me. I take a low dose of the birth control pill and I can honestly say it decreased irritability and controlled my periods (which hardly exist now). Prior to going on the pill, I was feeling edgy non-stop.

I also recommend exercise. Try walking for about a half hour each day. I, like Kathy, also walk out the door and take in some fresh air if I begin to feel the angry words spilling out. I've always loved the outdoors and feel like it's my friend who welcomes and understands me. Being in the fresh air rejuvinates me and clears my mind.

How about prayer? I begin each day with a quiet time, journal, Bible, study, prayer list, etc. This habit awakens me to what irritates me and why. I can get at the root of my issues and deal with them, really understand what gets me ticked. It's so helpful. I also reflect on all the blessings that occur daily (and there are tons). Having an attitude of gratitude is what helps me the most. It changes my whole perspective, but you have to remember, I am also getting the benefit of the birth control pill which has estrogen in it. Hope this helps.

Kathy pet, you are a hoot. I did laugh, despite myself!!!
Yup...I understand the cyclical thing only too well...I suppose that is why it is pretty scary...because I do not see or seem to feel it comming. I think I need to lighten up again and do a bit more of that laughing stuff...or write..or sing...or practice the piano, which is my latest box ticked on my list of 'things to do for me'. Mayby change my reading material too....from 'Co-dependent no more'...to 'The Complete works of Keats'...aye swap for a couple of days.

You are helping by making me laugh and helping me to ease up a little.
"Even the smallest of gifts can alleviate the greatest of suffering". A. Pope.

Thanks Kathy.

Hi Dotsie Pet,
Great advice as per. I hand my day over each morning...prayer is always a great help with all situations, that goes without saying. I will see my H.R.T specialist next week and my est levels will be checked and I am assuming another type of estro administered. Times like this usually mean that the current treatment is not adequate....'this too shall pass'(oh....I am twelve stepping myself....thats gotta be good!!). A wee gratitude list is a great idea, I had forgotten all about that one....thanks for reminding me.

Thanks for listening ladies,

Popea.

This Woman’s Prayer to an old friend.

My dawn period had me turn my back,
refute your fondness for me,
yet you never gave up,
staying firmly by my side at all times.
Though my eyes would not see
You, only in dread
In unearthing many other things to put in your place,
I fell and fell away
further from the care you held.
So the afternoon assumed
no light or heat from your orb,
Neither cue nor desire to turn my face
to the marvel of your light and love.
Dusk beckons and I face
my finding of you in childlike marvel.
Your humble lessons are those
I desire for my life as the sun sets.
I can never be without you again,
nor stray from the path you have chosen
simply for me……
I have nothing grand to offer,
but a request for your compassion
and a plea to show me your way
for me each morning, afternoon
and dusk of every day you give me.
I feel you and know I need never become lost again.
I have no more grand words,
just a will to do as you so wish.
This shall be the returning of my growing love for you
My God, and I love you so.

Ps Hey Dotsie...I thought you might like this.

When I went through the change, I managed to escape the sweats but I had problems with irritability and depression. What helped me most were two things - St. John's Wort and music.

Popea, I have no more grand words,
just a will to do as you wish.

I love that. I like the way the author used wish instead of will. It's much softer. And yes, I do like it. Thanks for thinking of me.

dejavu, I like the reminder to use music. Great idea. Music can change my mood so quickly. Thank you.

Popea. I went through a surgical menopause in my early 40's. One day I was normal. The next day. Whew!

I take natural supplements to handle most of the symptoms. However, like the others. Walking is a good way to clear your head and get some perspective.

I also journal. It's a great relief to just pour out all that is bothering me and get it down. Then I'm done and over with it.

And yes. This too shall pass. Menopause isn't forever.

Anne, how about sharing some of the jokes from your joke books?

Anne, I like the orange Bene-Fiber chewable tablets, great flavor and lots of fiber. When I was in the hospital last year suffering from a 7 day lack of movement of the rectal kind...my friend up in Utah who had suffered years of impacted bowels (eww!) told me the thing that saved her life was Aloe Vera capsules, all natural, easy to take, and easy on the belly, and the bowels will singgggg! She was absolutely right!!! I have never had a problem since, even though I stopped the Bene-Fiber. I do take a Fenugreek capsule as well daily, it keeps the system sweet and working well too.If you should over eat or eat toomuch dry foods like crasckers or chips, take another Aloe, can't take too many. I likie one in the morning and one at night if I haven't moved alot that day....