Anyone out there who's best friend lost their spouse?. I'd love to hear from you.

Anyone out there who's best friend lost their spouse? I'd love to hear from you. My friend Linda, who we are praying for right now, lost her husband in November. It was sudden and unexpected. Don had just turned 50.

I am doing everything I can for my best friend but I want to know what else I can do (ideas) to help her through this time.

I was doing Ok myself and didn't post the news here in November just in case Linda joined.I didn't want to jeopardize anything in any form.

I did tell her that I was putting in a prayer request(see other post) and she was grateful.

Your feedback is necessary so please give me your ideas.

Andria
(chickadee)

Well, I lost my own hubby in 2000...maybe I could help you...let me know...I know how I felt and still feel now....

Also, chatty's hubby/love of her life also died. My heart aches for girls. I have the utmost respect for you. And I know Micki. She has carried on with strength, courage, and a smile and giggle that's contagious! I don't know how she does it.

Thanks for your replys girls. I will be PM'ing you Micki in a day or two. Chatty, if you see this post, is it ok that I PM you too. I have a couple of questions that I'd like to ask you both.
Andria

I'm sure Chatty would love to hear from you.

I've never had this experience but I would just tell you to be there for her. (which you already are) I think she's lucky to have a friend like you who cares so much for her.
After my sister in law died, my other SIL got mad at a friend of hers because the woman was keeping her distance. I told her some people can't handle so much grief.

Chickadee I would be happy to hear from you. I am able to talk freely about the loss even thought the pain is always there.

God bless you Chatty. I will PM you and Micki tomorrow.TVC thank you for your kindness.
Thanks
chickadee

[ January 26, 2005, 12:05 AM: Message edited by: chickadee ]

My friend's husband dies sudddenly in July at 49. She is struggling.

She read a book called Widow and followed the recommendations. It seemed to help her put some of her feelings without names into context and form.

I think the only thing we can do is be there for them and take the cues when it is time to take another step.

You can pm if you like. Good luck it is heart wrenching to go through.

Lynn

Thank you Lynn.
Check your PM's everyone.
chickadee

chick, how about an update on Linda?

Lynn, who wrote the Widow book, do you know?

Update on Linda:
I always call Linda, but the day after I requested your prayers, she called me, and was crying. Before we hung up,I told her about your prayers and she said "That's what did it, that's what finally helped her break down, something she needed to do."
Yesterday, we talked about Don. We laughed and exchanged stories about him. (thanks for this advice btw).
Her pain is that he is never going to be there again. She is lonely without him.
No job yet, but she has something is in the works.
I will continue to keep you posted and thank you for your prayers.

Andria

I am pleased to announce that Linda will be starting work on the 28 of Feb. Temp position until she gets back to a seasonal job in the summer. She is doing pretty good considering. Linda and I still talk a lot on the phone. My heart still feels heavy for her pain. I sometimes wish that it was 5 years from now -just for her sake. It won't change anything except the pain/time factor I know but I wish this just hadn't happened to my dear friends.
Working will be good for her, she says and she's right.I want to thank all of you for your prayers, well wishes, suggestions and the (PMs thanks girls). God bless you all.
Andria

[ February 20, 2005, 12:21 PM: Message edited by: chickadee ]

Chick, thanks for spreading the good news. I think the job will be good for her. Anything that occupies her mind for a few hours should be helpful. I think most of the women in these forums can't stand watching a friend or family member in pain. We wish we had a magic pill to take it all away.

What's her job she'll begin in the summer?

Chick, I don't know the author of the book but I am having breakfst with Karen this Saturday so I will try to find out.

This is the first I have seen her, since the funeral although we email frequently, me daily.

She has always been my sister's best friend from before grade school but since the death she is grafitating to me some. She is looking for strength to help or insights. I have always been the "different one" and right now, I think that is intriguing to her. My sister is the comfort, like mac and cheese. I'm a taco!

I hope to meet her goals on her movement through grief. I feel guilty about this too, because I should have been the widow instead of her. But I am blessed everyday that I am not.

Keep us posted. If I learn anything helpful, I'll pass it along.

Lynn

Lynn, I sometimes think our guilt for others really is our genuine concern for mankind.

Dotsie, Linda's permanent/seasonal job is with Cultural Heritage.

Thanks for being there, ladies.

Andria

Lynn, how can you say you should have been the widow? Good grief girl. Do you mean because your husband sick? Chick is right. Sometimes we feel guilty just because we feel blessed when others don't.

I agree. Lynn, you SHOULD NOT have been the widow!!

I believe if you should've been, it would've been.

chick, the woman who owns this site just sent me information on her books to be included at BWS. I immediately thought of you and your friend. She is a widow and has written about it. Thought I'd pass this along. Please check it out and see if it applies.

http://www.authorsden.com/juliedonnerandersen