My Friend Jody

My friend Jody died at 2:30 this afternoon. She had survived breast cancer and at least 5 metastases since 1992.

Several months ago, Jody's spirits were up. She was finally able to eat soft/solid food after 8 months of liquids only.

Every time she had another metastasis, I'd think "this has to be it" but Jody never gave up. She'd say "I survived this far, I'm going to beat it again." And every time she did.

10 days ago, she was doing fine during the day but by nightfall was very very tired. The next day she didn't get out of bed. A few days later, she was barely conscious and unable to speak or eat.

Another friend called her house Sunday, to remind Jody that our exercise group was having its bi-monthly dinner on Tuesday. Jody's husband told my friend about Jody's condition. When my friend said she wanted to visit, he said, "No she's too tired, she might not even recognize you."

So I got on the phone with her husband, and when he said Jody was too sick for visitors, I said "I know. And we want to say good-bye."

Every time Jody got sick or had a trip to the hospital, I'd called all the gals in our group to make sure they visited. We'd take several trips with a few gals every time, bringing cards and flowers. When she was too sick to go out for several months last summer, I made sure that there were gals visiting her every single week.

This time I called to tell everyone that this was it. If they wanted to say good-bye, they had to do it soon.

I went on Monday with two friends. Jody was hooked up to tubes for pain medicine. The 3 of this said "Hi, this is --" and whatever else we wanted to say. Jody tried to open her eyes once. We're not sure if she knew we were there or not.

We sat in her bedroom for 10-15 minutes, and then went into the living room to talk to her husband for another 1/2 hour. All her organs were shutting down and she had congestive heart failure (this week.)

A gf called me at 3:30 today to say that she just called Jody's house and Jody had passed. She and I divided the phone list of our friends. It took me 2 hours before I could call anyone.

Jody will be missed. I'm still a little numb.

I'm so sorry to hear this, Meredith. I know you will miss her. She sounds like a wonderful human being. I will keep you and her family and friends in my thoughts.

I'm so sorry, Meredith, I've lost a friend to cancer at age 43, so I know how it feels.

They are never forgotten.

Oh Meredith, I'm so sorry. I've been keeping Jody (and you) in heart and prayer all week. I'm glad you had the chance to be with her before she passed. And if it's any consolation, I've been having some delightfully funny and very tender "Gary-moments" for some time...while I still miss his "skin on" hugs and presence very much, I'm keenly aware that he hasn't gone very far, and am enjoying this new relationship with him now. I'm sure Jody's going to find ways to let you that she's around.

Know that you are in my heart. Wish I could be there to give you a "skin on" hug.

Oh Meredith, I was wondering the other day whatever happened to Jody. I am so sorry for her passing. I agree with Eagle though, she will show you her presence when she is able.

Meredith I am very sorry to hear about Jody.
Hugs,

Meredith, I am so sorry to hear of your loss of a great friend. I will hold you in my heart in a big way.

Love to you.

Thanks all. Last night I decided to skip critique group and instead walk around my favorite local park, with a large lake in the middle and lots of birds. The birds always make me happy and it's better than sitting around and being depressed. Today I sent a condolence card to Jody's husband. They were married 54 years.

The chapel for her service was reserved for this Friday or next. If she had died by Thursday morning, the service would've been today, but they didn't have enough time so it'll be next Friday. I'll be out of town for a craft festival and really can't cancel.

I feel bad about missing her funeral, but I was there for Jody when she was alive, which to me is what's most important.

Meredith, out of a most tender heart, I say, I am so sorry. While driving home after visiting Daddy this afternoon, the thought of him passing was so 'right there' on my mind. A peace came over me, though, for some reason. After seeing him hunched over in a non-controlled position (laying in bed, but his body making a moon shape), his eyes watery and him barely able to open them, his not being able to speak or respond as I know he wanted to, him having to listen to all those horrible machines humming and burbling around him... knowing he doesn't have to go through this. He would be so much better off with your friend Jody. But, letting go... we, WE, hurt for lack of them; for not being able to share one more thought; for not being able to get one more of EH's 'skin hugs'... We are bound to earth, and should be wishing for the freedom your friend now has, and my dad will soon have, regardless of the pain it brings us while we wait our turn. I hurt for you. I feel the pain with you. I'm glad Jody had you as a caring friend.

Meredith, I am so sorry about Jody. Big Hugs!!

Meredith, I'm sorry that I just saw this. How your heart must ache. I've been there previously with two very close friends. Please know we love you and are thinking of you during this time. Warm hugs sent to you all the way from Maine!

Meredith

What an amazing friend you were to Jody and whether she could acknowledge your presence or not, I get the feeling she knew and felt the gift of your heartfelt love.

My heart goes out to you, your friends, and her husband...sending lots of light energy and hugs through the amazing connections being built through this space.

Meredith
you would be a lovely special friend and I know would be kind loving and fun.
The gap a friend leaves is wide and may I send love at this time.
We must all join with others to find a cure...I do some funraising and will do more .
Mountain ash

Meredith..I am so sorry..so very sorry for you..that your brave and courageous friend, Jody, has passed. I remember when you wrote about her this past spring/summer.. I am so glad that you were able to say good-by..as you wanted to.

I will be thinking and praying for you..and for Jody..altho she is probably somewhere around you right now..caring for you..as you have done for her.

Hugs

Gims, I'm so sorry your father has been suffering so long. Jody's last week was beyond hope, and I'm glad she didn't linger too long in that state.

The 9 of us gals from the exercise group were going to chip in on a large floral display, but one gal had the foresight to call Jody's husband and he said rather than flowers, send donations to Komen. I'll also be setting up my own online page as soon as I register for this year's Race For the Cure, probably in the next few days.

I'm normally not a phone call type, but this week I've been on the phone to tell everyone Jody was on her last days (and quite a few back-and-forth calls setting up visiting); then calls to say she had passed; more calls about the funeral; and now for the donations. I've been good and have not panicked.

If anyone wants to send a card to Jody's husband:
Gale Reid
1000 Marlboro St.
La Habra, CA 90631

Meredith, I am so sorry to hear that Jody did not make it through another round of cancer. Sometimes all the drugs in the world. I guess you recognized that this was her last battle because you say her last week was hopeless. Your contribution toward her funeral... all the phonecalls, well, your contribution is priceless. L, Pl

Meredith, please accept my heartfelt sorrow at Jody's passing. I know you...and I know that every time you think of her, you will do so with a smile and a warm heart. And I also feel that every time you do, Jody will dip down to give you a special feeling inside, just to let you know she is still around you and will never leave. Not really.

What a good friend you are. Good-bye Jody, for now.