Is This Person an Alcoholic??

You have all been so helpful in other areas. Thank you and I just have to ask another question. My husband drinks every night. He gets home from work at 4:30 every day and the first thing he does is grab a Michelob light and he drinks a whole six pack and then has whiskey and other mixed drinks sometimes along with it. That's at home. If we go out and he gets restless if all we do is stay at home, he will have several beers and shots in between. He has done this for 20-30 yrs. He smokes pot sometimes and takes pain pills. He is a postman as a profession.
I never used to drink but since we have been married, I have started to drink right along with him. I don't crave alcohol, but drink socially just to be with him otherwise I would sit at home and "feel" his restlessness or let him go out to the bar without me. His whole social system is built around alcohol and those who drink.

Number5, sure sounds like an alcoholic to me, and I hate to see you fall in with his lifestyle if you know in your heart that it isn't for you.

We love you here at BWS. Keep loving yourself more...

Number5 my second husband owned bars and was a major drinker everyday, all day. When you are a bar owner you go to other bars and spend money and make friends and they do the same back to you. In order to not be left behind alone I too went to these establishments with him BUT all I ever drank was coke. He and the others laughed at me and called me a tea tottler but also told me that they make more profit on a coke then on a beer. So he wasn't ashamned of me and I was able to enjoy his friends. So if you go with him to the bars it is on you if you drink alcohol, not him. You have a choice and ask the bar owner what he makes more profit on, beer or coke? Oh and your husband is either an alcoholic or darn close to it.

He drinks and drinks and drinks. All his friends do too. I've watched him. Sometimes he won't eat dinner because it would interfere with the buzz he is hoping to get from the alcohol. He loves alcohol more than anything else in the world including me. He told me this evening that the only thing he can think about at this point in his life is himself. OH, and me because as he put it, I am a part of him.....

Sadly, alcoholism is a progressive illness/disease/problem that only worsens over time. Most mental health professionals define heavy drinking as more than 3 drinks. Perhaps you could consult with a counselor in your area to determine what a helpful course of action would be to take for yourself and your husband to discuss your concerns.

Bullpucky Number5, you are not a part of any earthly creature. You are unique, a child of God, you are you...He is a selfish, stupid, alcoholic fool and not much more. You on the other hand are none of these things I'm sure....Do not allow him to pull you down into the hell he is headed for...

Absolutely right Chatty.

Number5 donot try to become like him. My elderly neighbor's step daughter is lying on her death bed right now, literally. She is only 56 and her liver has been deteriorating for years because of her alcoholism. Sadly, she's at the end now and cannot even eat or keep down as little as a sip of water. Hospice is with her now. She'll never see her daughter again or watch her grandchildren grow up and get married. Her husband is an alcoholic too and not much help in caring for her right now so hospice is a blessing in making her last days comfortable.

I was saddened when I read about one of our fellow Boomer sisters, Ladybug. I will pray for her and her husband. Alcoholism is a terrible disease.
Number5, I know a woman who started drinking with her husband after she got married years ago. He passed away at 50 after a liver transplant but she continued to drink. She had a heart attack around 50. She quit smoking, but couldn't quit the drinking. She can still drink any man under the table.
I don't know what else to tell you...except that I pray for you and your family's safety every day.
chick

Chick, you truly are a wonderful, sweet lady. Poor Leslie is hanging on by a thread now. She can barely speak and weighs 65 lbs.,(last that I heard from her stepmother, Marge).

Well, one thing for certain Number 5, either postmen in your area are sure highly paid, to afford that amount of liquor on a continual basis and pot as well or many other things must be unattainable because of these costs. Unfortunatedly when someone has a drinking/drug problem, those who are not drinking or drug buddies, will always be at the bottom of priorties as well as their needs. Unfortunately
so many things will never be apparent to an active alcohalic, or drug user, and others will be picking up the pieces.. unless they too fall apart...or leave the relationship for their own stability and well being.

[ January 18, 2006, 03:36 PM: Message edited by: norma ]

An addict once told me that no matter who how much he loved anyone or any thing, he would always love his drug more. It would always come first and no one and nothing would ever keep him from it. Not his wife, not his children, not his family, no one. He said even during sex his mind was only on the drug and how the sex might help him get it.

I've seen that proven by addicts and alcoholics over and over. The only love they ever have for anyone or any thing is the degree to which it makes their relationship with their drug possible.

The addict has no choice, the enabler has the choice, but only if they are willing to make it.

smile

Number5 Hi I'm new and have been in recovery for 20years. The one thing I learn is a drug is a drug especially when you have to drink everyday I can only call myself an acoholic.There is Alnon for the wife you see I learned we do what we do to cover-up pain or tradgies so what ever the problem God can help if he wants it but you he can help the other way throgh alnon I a' a recovering Heroin Addidic but use AA it works very well good spiritual prgram

lionshadow, congrats on being in recovery for 20 years. You have lots to be proud of. Seems like the spirituality offered in those programs is life changing.

Welcome aboard. Please jump in the Welcome forum and introduce yourself.

Sue, they have open AA meetings that he could attend. He will be welcomed with open arms and hear the truth.

When my daughter was in rehab, the majority of the people were teenagers.

Maybe if he went to a meeting someone would take him under their wings and help him.

I just finihsed reading the book "Smashed." I wish I could say it was unbelievable but it is absolutely believable.

The gal who wrote it was is in her early 20s. She writes about her drunken stupors that began at age 14. She is an incredible writer. Very gifted.

I highly recommend her book to mothers of young gals and their daughters.

I hope this is the first of many books for her.