Drunk & Disorderly

Backi in the 60's my then husband and I owned a nice neighborhood cocktail lounge. It became the place to hang out, safe for women alone and men too since fighting was not tolerated. We had a go-go stage and jacks in the bar and a little band on the week-ends. The Mayors family, the Chief of Police, the Cops and Fireman all hung out there. The thing that amazed me the most was how much alcohol can change a persons personality. These women would come in all dressed to the nines, sayafter the Mayors birthday ball and order a few drinks. They were dressed beautifully, hair in up do's, very shiek then as the night progressed the clothes became discheveled and the updo began to droop and the fancy talk became a slur of words no one could understand. They would sometimes get up to potty and fall down and lay there and giggle. I guess I got a good education on alcohol back then, one of the reasons I don't drink. Plus my ex drank enough for us both for 2 lifetimes. Lets face it, drunk and disorderlynisn't a pretty sight....

Chatty, It's not a pretty sight, I agree.

People lose their inhibitions when they drink and behaviors that they'd never exhibit when sober become very pronounced. Someone who is relatively shy could become very outgoing and gregarious. They could even like the way they feel when they drink and want to be that person more and more.

Some people drink to forget who they usually are or forget problems they have even if it's just for a few hours.

Drinking can turn father of the year into a mean, abusive drunk who beats their wife and yells at their kids.

There's been a lot of studies done on the effects of alcohol on the human brain. What are the results? In a nutshell, too much drinking is not good for you.

What's too much drinking? It depends on the person. Some people seem to get drunk as the glass is passed under their nose, while others can go through a case of beer and show no visible signs of being drunk.

Alcohol is a mood altering drug and mood altering drugs can be very dangerous if not properly supervised.

Gee.. someone kick this soapbox out from under me .. I'm spouting off at the fingers today.

Well, this topic is interesting also. And it is also one about which I've written a story called 'The Journey.'

My middle child has a problem with alcohol. Came about mostly after a divorce. He was devastated to lose living fulltime with his kids.
He has had several DUIs and wrecks, one of which almost killed him. So far, he has been sober (to my knowledge) for 2 years or so.

I don't drink much either. I don't like the loss of control, or the upset stomach and headache that comes along with being drunk. I drink one or two,very occasionally, and that is that...

Just to let you know that I drank a river but I have been sober for the past eight and half years.
When I first started going to AA meetings there were only 2 or 3 women. Now the women make up half of the members of AA. Some are young but there are a few grandmothers, like myself. That is why I gave up my annonemity and wrote a book: The Road To Recovery-Alcoholism and Judaism. I wanted my grandchildren to be aware that Alcoholism is a disease that can be transmitted in the genes. Go to my site: csoftah to preview the book.

csoftah, thanks for sharing. I hope you'll go to the welcome forums and tell us more. Do you think more women are drinking since joing the work force, raising kids, and trying to be all things to all people? Just wondering...

I love your patriotic site.

Strange thing, alcohol. My father was an alcoholic and it killed him at the age of 44. My son is an alcoholic but I can hardly tolerate it. I drank in college and it didn't take but 2 drinks to wipe me out. I am extremely sensitive to it and now I don't touch the stuff.

I have seen what it does to my son and what it did to my father and I truly admire alcoholics who can remain sober. I hope one day my son can find sobriety.

Kentucky Girl

Kentuckygirl, I am always amazed when children of alcoholics are able to break the cycle. Good for you.

Have you tried an intervention with your son?

Hi Dotsie:

No, we haven't tried intervention. A few years ago he was court ordered to go through rehab. As soon as he got out he started with his addictions again.

I go to Al-Anon and Codependent's Anonymous in order to learn how to detach and to get support.

I appreciate your interest.

Kentucky Girl

My mom is an alcoholic. She drank all while I was a kid and I never knew it. She would pour the alcohol in a soda bottle or can keeping it out of our reach.

I think I could be an alcoholic if I drank. But, I don't drink because of all the medications I'm on. I did drink while I was in the Marines and then stopped for a while. I started drinking again after my first divorce. There's lots of times when I'd love to have a drink, but I can't. Meds and alcohol just don't mix.

Kentucky, if you can't cure them, you have to heal yourself. Good for you.

Vicki, you are so wise to know your limits. I know people who take medications that shouldn't be mixed with alcohol, but they do it anyway. I keep my mouth shut.

chatty.. i can well remember being one of those you mention in your post (april 30/05). I had just been introduced to the world of 'pubs'as they were called here. Had just met my future in laws who i didn't realize were hard core alcohalics.

A few years later when my mother in law was 62, we got a phone call to 'come down here and do something about her'. By then she was drinking her whiskey through a bent straw, needed a walker, had trouble using a fork, wouldn't wash. My husband had to undress her and carry her to the bath tub. While bathing her, i wanted to either crack her head on the back of the tub, or hold it under the water. I hated the woman, and wasn't sorry when she died the following spring.

But a few years after her death, i gradually learned she had secrets. And my thinking towards her changed.

I learned that apart from being married to a vulgar drinker, apart from being the daughter of a woman who found fault with everything, and who 'never touch a drop of drink'.

She had had a daughter before being married.
Her two sons never knew about this half sister.

Pregnant, not married ? I knew what that made her in the eyes of the world during her young years, and ever after. Not able to reveal the secret,
not ever to speak of her little girl. Her husband later revealed to me that he had paid '100' for each of the two abortions she had after they married.

When our first daughter was born, she came staggering into the hospital with my husband and said "finally i have my little girl"

At that point i thought, no way lady, this little girl is no relation to you.

But then, later on, it made sense.
I came to believe, she began drinking to escape,
her hurt, her shame, her world. And then finally she could not escape from alcohal. And i wish i could tell her i am sorry.

I have learned in the last two years, not to be judgmental regarding alcoholics. My best friend is one and so were his father and grandfather. Alcohol is their escape, which then becomes their captor. It is a vicious cycle that is extremely hard to break. They always have a sadness, a secret, a heartache or something which drives them to drink, but if they are prone to addiction, their bodies literally crave it. Because of my friend (who is in his 3rd. rehab in 6 months, not counting a halfway house)
I pray daily for people in the bondage of substance addictions.

Norma, that is a sad story. The poor woman was heartbroken, but you didn't know that. I'm sure she has forgiven you.

My father was an alcoholic and a mean one. He didn't beat us or anything, it was all verbal. I don't remember him abusing my mother physically, but he was very cruel to her when he was drunk.

He grew up in an orphanage because his mother was too busy accumulating husbands to take care of a child. He was there from when he was 5 until he went into the Navy. Recently, my sister has been in contact with a man who was in the orphanage and knew our dad. He's been emailing pictures, his story, and telling us what he knew of our dad. Honestly, nothing he told us surprised me at all and I had already forgiven my dad because I knew there was an underlying reason for his anger.

My dad died when he was only 51 and even though his illness wasn't directly related to his alcoholism, he let it go on too long by covering his pain with booze.

I drink on occasion and I love my wine, but I am very cautious about it. I don't have that urge and I think you either have it or you don't. It is amazing that my 2 sisters, 1 brother and I are all productive members of society.

Daisygirl

It's great that you and your siblings can break that cycle. It may keep all your children from becoming drinkers.
Life can be so hard and so sad and everyone needs something to help them through. Better to have God and people help you, than a substance.

[ November 09, 2005, 07:00 PM: Message edited by: Western Bluebird ]