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#153866 - 07/18/08 11:38 PM Anorexia Nervosa and my cast member
dancer9 Offline


Registered: 04/16/07
Posts: 2411
Loc: Arizona
Yesterday I had to call a dancer in my production and tell her not to come to rehearsal until she had eaten. It was so sad but she had passed that line that I know means the disease has hold of her.

I had to tell her that I knew that if she ate she would have a bit of a belly because thats what happens when an anorexic eats finally.. I told her that if I didn't see that little belly, she could not work.

I talked to a close friend who is an acclaimed psychiatrist first and it was his advice, again, as I've had dancers like this before and when I was a teen, a young dancer, I had it for a bit.

I felt badly also because this young girl had been very successful in theater in Seattle for some time until she got to be about 25 when the competition was stiffer because she went pro. She trys so hard and is not really in the league of many of the dancers.

Because she is not as strong of a dancer, her mother came to see me and told me that she had been rehearsing all night, night after night and exercising to extreme limits.

Her mother thought that her thinness was too thin but had not been educated in Anorexia. I gave her a therapists number.

They are strict Mormons. I have no idea if that affects them but I know that the mother does the same thing as the daughter in trying to be perfect! She was perfectly turned out and she too, was thin. She was "cosmetically thin," the kind of person who does not work out to be thin but starves. It is easy to see this if you are a Master Dancer, there are tell tale signs.

She also spoke of her daughters achievements and of her sisters achievements and their goals as if they were do or die about success! I could see where the young woman got her illness!

I have no idea how to get to her mother or her but I recieved a call from her sister saying that she had, indeed, eaten and was sporting a little new belly for the food to fit into!

What do you think? The mother was like talking to sommeone who was brain washed! I don't want to fire this young woman.

Dancer9
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#153867 - 07/19/08 07:18 AM Re: Anorexia Nervosa and my cast member [Re: dancer9]
meredithbead Offline
The Divine Ms M

Registered: 07/07/03
Posts: 4894
Loc: Orange County, California
You're not going to get through to the mother, not if she's been this way her whole life. She has made a lifestyle choice -- that this is what a woman is supposed to be -- and to change would undermine the core of her existence because she doesn't see change as an option.

The daughter is a younger version of her mother. She got her values from her mother (and perhaps the larger Mormon society.) I'd also bet that the sister is lying for the girl because the mother told her to say that.

Yes, they are all brainwashed in a sense. No, you probably can't change any of them. They are taught a certain way, and they believe a certain way because they have chosen to be like that.

Ultimately, it's a lifestyle choice. And unfortunately, you'll probably have to fire the girl.

I know this wasn't the answer you wanted to hear.
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#153868 - 07/19/08 12:09 PM Re: Anorexia Nervosa and my cast member [Re: meredithbead]
Anno Offline
Member

Registered: 09/15/05
Posts: 4434
Loc: Minneapolis Minnesota
I think Meredith is right on here.
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#153869 - 07/19/08 01:56 PM Re: Anorexia Nervosa and my cast member [Re: Anno]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
What I find absolutely shocking is that the mother of a 25 year-old is going to talk to her dance instructor or boss, or whatever your title is to the gal. That in itself tells me she's an uncontrolable control freak. My youngest is 19 and I'd never go to his boss. By this time they should be living life without the confines of their parents. Don't you think? I find this terribly sad.

dancer, I admire you for making a difference in the lives of these young gals. They need you!
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#153870 - 07/19/08 07:23 PM Re: Anorexia Nervosa and my cast member
dancer9 Offline


Registered: 04/16/07
Posts: 2411
Loc: Arizona
I agree, Dotsie, but stage mothers hardly let go!
I thought it might be because they are devout Mormon or something!

Strange,
Dancer9
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"Question your privilege"

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#153871 - 07/19/08 07:26 PM Re: Anorexia Nervosa and my cast member [Re: meredithbead]
dancer9 Offline


Registered: 04/16/07
Posts: 2411
Loc: Arizona
Hi Meredith.
I think you are correct about the life style choice. There are three sisters, all the same.
Although she has eaten, I can see myself baby sitting this woman who is paid, for rehearsal as well, making sure she is eating.
I have decided to give myself a "three strike," deal with her and if I have to deal with her three times, she loses the role. I have an under study for her that I called yesterday and told to move into an understudy for that particular role. The understudy is thrilled, now she is in a paying gig. I'd rather use the understudy now. My original cast member has a very good voice and that's needed for theater but she does not have the lead. Her song can be done in a "theater voice," which is part talking so the pro in my is all over this problem.

I am not heartless though. I fear for this girl. I am speaking to "brain washed," types here with her and her Mom though so I can't make a dent. I wish I knew more about the Mormon religion. I have taught Mormon children to dance, ( It's big with them for some reason,) and have met up with them in a big fashion shoot I managed too. There was the same perfection personality to the point that until one of the models saw her shots that I designed and realized she "had never looked better," she had a problem trusting me as a professional with a big resume'! This woman wanted all the photos for her book and is now my fan, but it was irritating, to say the least, to hear her say, on location, "are you sure I should be this way?" (for a shot...)

Bangers, head bangers.

Thanks Meredith, my brilliant friend,
Dancer
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"Question your privilege"

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#153872 - 07/19/08 08:13 PM Re: Anorexia Nervosa and my cast member [Re: dancer9]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
No devout mormon I know of would allow themselves to become emaciated. They believe their bodies to be temples to hold Christs love. Thats not the reason she ill. The mother sounds like a nut case to me, that is unchangeable BUT you can help the daughter even if you have to threaten her job. Good for you Dancer.
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#153873 - 07/19/08 09:53 PM Re: Anorexia Nervosa and my cast member [Re: chatty lady]
dancer9 Offline


Registered: 04/16/07
Posts: 2411
Loc: Arizona
thank you for the insight, Chatty.
I do know that this girl wants a perfect body like some of the dancers in the cast have...

I don't know.
D9
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"Question your privilege"

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#153874 - 07/20/08 07:58 AM Re: Anorexia Nervosa and my cast member [Re: dancer9]
Mountain Ash Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/05
Posts: 3027
The "Be Perfect" belief is filtered down from every one who cares for a child.It is how the child gets "strokes" that is acknowledgemnt that they exist and matter.
The child adheres to it to survive.

Mountain ash

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#153875 - 07/20/08 08:42 AM Re: Anorexia Nervosa and my cast member [Re: Mountain Ash]
Edelweiss Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe
Dancer, do you know if there is any common denomination with these girls or boys who suffer under anorexia? I was just wondering if it is know if their upbringing has anything to do with it? Was food a huge topic in their families, or weight problems, or maybe putting down others who didn't look so perfect?
Just wondering if I chould avoid some topics with Anaiya as she grows older.

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