Hi guys..I just got home from work..Friday afternoon here..it was total caos with the kids and in the midst of this,I had to help my colleague break open her locker by force..after having helped search for her keys everywhere in our 9 departmental pre school. YES! I am tired..and I have waited to write you and ask you my question here for quite a long time..maybe because I am afraid of your straight answers? But I want your honest thoughts now. I have reached a cross road in my relationship..and I am ready for what you have to say.

I live with my SO who is 35yrs old and I am 60. We have lived together since June,2001. We worked together and "dated" since the fall of 2000. I dont think age is the issue here..he is from the North of Sweden..a quiet type..comes from a relatively secure background in the country. They hunt moose and fish there during their free time and the women talk recipes, etc. I am a city girl first from the Czech Rep.,then raised in the US (my last home there was near Cambridge,Mass...the Boston area). I moved to Sweden when I was 21 and married to my husband with whom I had 5 children. And we divorced in 2000. I have 4 grandchildren between the ages of 10 to 2. My chidlhood family and background is academic mainly. I am not the quiet type..I enjoy good discussions and people around me..to a certain extent. I do like my space and quiet too..need it, almost daily at this point.

My SO,R. as I will call him here, has gotten into computer games in a big way. He plays World of Warcraft and is almost addicted to it. I feel that it takes the energy from our relationship. I feel that his life circulates around this game..his time and above all, his thoughts. We used to have lively discussions about things as he has alot of general knowledge that I don´t have. But that only occurs now when we go to a cafe or somewhere. Our life together has lost its content..its gusto. I know this to be a problem for couples in his age group..so as simple as it sounds..it is a real problem. We have talked and talked about our need to relate more often..but it kinda doesn´t happen. Of course, to a great extent, I enjoy the space I get in this way..but there is too much space now. We are not working sexually either..which we did well before. And I still have a need for real sex. Some of the problem with sex is also generated by the fact that my 18 yr old son lives with us and it´s not easy to find the opportunity. R. has had one relationship with a woman that has real problems and is perhaps alittle mentally needy. He has one son from this relationship who is 12yrs old now and visits with us everyother week-end and stays for about 1 month during the summer.

Now the crossroads as I see them is that we live in a one bedroom apartment with a big walk in closet. In this closet,my youngest son,18yrs, old has his sleeping area. His computer is set up in the kitchen When R.s son comes to visit, he sleeps above my son in this closet space. Believe it or not, it has worked well until now. Because the other day, my son siad that he needs some sleeping space of his own as he wants to bring girls home. This he has done in the past, but now everyone is older. The girls coming home is a normal thing here in Sweden. And since my relationship is the way it is..it seems maybe this is the time to take action..and split up. My son and I would have more room, if nothing else. Of course..my thoughts are not all this simple..it´s difficult to get everything down on a post without writing a book..which I am doing all ready.

And I am considering what many of you say..the grass is not greener on the otherside. Or, it´s ok to live alone and some of you prefer it. But it´s tough to be on your own and get old? My economic situation would probably be unsteady for awhile..but I think I could manage in the end.

Don´t get me wrong..he ia a good man..very gentle and kind..lots of understanding for the weaknesses and differences that make up mankind. I love this about him. And this part of him is VERY VERY important to me.

I feel a bit silly writing about my problem..a computer game problem..or so I see it..but I DO need help. It´s kind of an accomplishment for me to write so openly about where I am right now on this forum.

Anything..anything at all that you ladies can/want to write will be most appreciated. Thanks! I took a deep breath here, ladies! I actually wrote this and got it done. And now I am going to push the send button!!! Boy do I need some wine after this!!!