Hi, I just wanted to join the "empty nesters," club and learn from all of you.
My son left for college awhile ago and I'm looking for things to do with myself since that part of my life is gone. I'm still a bit lost, but I'm trying!
Glad there are others and starting to read,
dancer9

Post deleted by jawjaw

dancer, I'm a member of the club, or should I say that I was for one year... Last year all three kids were in college with the last two leaving last fall. However, our oldest graduated and is now living at home while looking for a job. Time will tell when we'll be empty nesters again.

I embraced the time and kept myself occupied doing what I enjoy. That way my mind was on something else and not wondering what the kids were doing.

Have you picked up any new hobbies?

I will say it's hard, Dotsie. I stay focused on my life but there is still a big hole where caring for my son used to be. I do not bother him at college and want to go forward with perhaps those things not done because he was with me but some of those opportunities have past!
I am independent by nature but the "next act," eludes me thus far.
I did have a few years of serious illness to busy me though and that may be why the next path did not appear. I hope that is the case. I certainly do not want to stay in what feels like a holding position and partially my old life, I want the new.
So do you have ideas as to how to get in touch with yourself to a level where the next path may appear?

thank you for responding.

dancer9

dancer9,
I felt the way you did when my youngest left. The nest was completely empty then, except for me and my dog. Then...he came back. Amazing how our perspective changes after some absence. I found him messy, or maybe I didn't notice it before? He used my shampoo! Or maybe I didn't notice it before? He borrowed my car and ate my last Oreo...THAT one I would have noticed.

Anyway, he moved out again and the this time he's been gone almost a year. Lordy, I love to see my boys come a 'callin...only now I don't mind it when they leave. I know they are going on with their lives and it pleases me.

But you DO get use to your new life and things do begin to take shape. I think they can be so subtle that maybe we don't even notice the changes coming over us and our environment...whatever.

It was hard at first to train my mind to the fact that I could fix whatever I wanted to eat, even have onions...I could watch my mystery shows and didn't have to turn over the remote for Monday Night Football....I even caught myself watching it one night and it hit me, GOOD GRIEF! I don't have to watch this crap!

So you will move forward, a little at a time. Give yourself room to breathe in the new wide open environment and don't think you HAVE to do anything. Just relax...enjoy, read a book, rent a movie, if worse comes to worse, watch Monday Night Football....or better, THE CLOSER. (I am hooked on that show)....

But don't give in to the "what now?" syndrom...Let life happen. It will!

JawJaw,
Thank you for your post. It was very inspirational! I may be pushing myself as you mentioned! In fact, I am. You are right, little changes add up to a lot sooner or later and the little changes are there, I've noticed a lot of them.
Thank you again for helping with your great post, you make a lot of sense!
dancer9

dancer, great question. This may sound weird, but I went through a bit of my empty nest when the kids were still living at home. They were all in high school and very independent. I no longer felt like I had much of a job. My life revolved around them since they were babies. I was a SAHM and reveled in it.

Mom also became ill and died in six months. I dropped all my volunteer work to help my family care for Mom. After she died, I really felt without purpose. I missed her and I knew I'd be without a job as soon as the kids left home.

That is when I hit a valley. During that time, I became intentional about what I wanted to be when I grew up. I had never thought too much about what I'd do after being a SAHM. I prayed, journaled and became still every morning after everyone left for school/work. I took a couple classes. I asked God for guidance. What was He calling me to do? That is when the seed to give boomer women a voice was planted. I researched, prayed and got to work trying to figure out the best way to do it.

Voila...www.boomerwomenspeak.com and www.nabbw.com. I keep listening and following.

So I guess I recommend getting still and listening to whoever your higher power is. I hope this helps.

Wow, you did a brilliant and good thing! This needed to be done!
I do a bit of what you are saying. I ask my higher power for guidance and wonder where it will take me. I have been on stage or screen since I was 5 years old and still do some dancing but I know it's time for a change, a big one. My life is always big and I expect whatever I do will be on that scale. If not, I'd be okay with that too!
Thank you for this post, it was motivational and reminds me to get in touch through meditation with my higher power and to listen to my heart and when I decide to do something to go for it with the same fearlessness with which I entered the world of entertainment. My world is full of colorful and wonderful people because of my choice and I've been lucky enough to make money enough to allow me not to work if I choose.
I am at some sort of empass and I'm very much in the dark about what my spirit wants me to do now. I continue to dance and I always will, I always have since I could stand up. Still, it is not my career choice anymore. This is the puzzling part.
I feel excited reading a post like yours because you did something sort of what I would do if that were my calling.
Congratulations on your site, it is wonderful and I believe, needed. I hope it does well for you and continues to be a success. Good for you! You just never know, do you?
Best,
dancer9
* I believe my email is available for everyone, feel free to use it if you like, just mark it "boomer forum," so I recognize it!

dancer, are you interested in teaching dance?

That is EXACTLY what was rolling around in my head, Dotsie. Why not teach?