First of all, my parent’s anniversary was really nice. Very low key. Amazingly, we all stayed awake until midnight on New Years Eve.
I will do my best to answer the questions that have been asked about my writing, my business and my life.
As far back as I can remember I had a passion for writing. Some of my earliest memories were in grade school. I loved to read and write.
Unfortunately, there was never much encouragement for me to pursue a career as a writer. If I so much as hinted to others this was a dream of mine, it was not taken very seriously. As a matter of fact, there were some people who went as far as to say, "Right, you a writer." One person in particular was an ex-husband. Notice I said, ex.
Like many women my age, I married my high school sweetheart. The marriage was pretty rocky from the start. Because my focus was more on my ex and indulging in the party lifestyle and not so much on a career, when the marriage came to an end I was pretty lost.
This was at the point that my life didn't seem to have much direction. It was a period where I was drifting a lot, couldn’t seem to settle and felt life had given me a pretty raw deal.
Of course, it seemed to serve me well at that time to really play into that. Not to minimize the experience, but I can look back and see how much of where I ended up and what was lacking in my life had more to do with my own thoughts and actions than the circumstances I found myself going through.
Due to my life choices becoming worse by the day, I found myself sinking further and further into a victim state of mind.
This led me on a downward spiral that in essence took me to a place of being very negative and unemployable. When one is unemployable it makes it very difficult to pay rent. When rent isn’t paid it makes it very difficult to keep a roof over your head. It was in my early twenties that I was what would be considered homeless. I was not one of the people pushy a shopping cart or anything, but I literally did not have a roof over my head.
I have had people ask me why I didn’t turn to my family for help. There is such a thing as pride that can prevent someone from doing that. I suppose I just needed to go through whatever it was I needed to go through to get to the place I am today.
Was there one turning point? In a sense yes, and yet, no; not just one. There were many. One of the main turning points is I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was tired of living the way I was and hoped and prayed for something better.
It was during a very dark time that I found a book by Dr. Wayne Dyer at a garage sale. (that was about the only way I could buy books at that time). “Your Erroneous Zones.” Something in the book gave me hope. From there I searched out other self-help and spiritual books. I have always been a big fan of libraries. I would check out lots and lots of books. Anything to help me see things differently.
What I found interesting is that at that time not too many people I knew subscribed to much of what I would read in the books. It was as if I had to be very secretive about what I was being introduced to. There were some people (like my ex) who would laugh at me and tell me none of “that stuff” works. I guess nowadays it is called Law of Attraction stuff.
Anyway, bit by bit, things began to change. I changed a lot of my behaviors and began making better choices such as quitting the party lifestyle.
The books I read had a lot to do with that. I also made a conscious choice to let go of some of the people I was hanging out with who were not supporting my decisions to change. That was not an easy decision in that I was letting go of something very familiar and even in the discomfort, something that was comfortable.
Something I developed quite a passion for was listening to self-help and spiritual audiotapes. There wasn’t as much available 25 or 30 years ago as there is today, but somehow I was finding stuff. Often at the library, sometimes reading about an event in the newspaper, or hearing about something from a friend.
In all of this, the underlying message was that happiness came from living our passion. Fulfilling our destiny and taking risks.
I developed and integrated some very important beliefs as a result of all the studying, reading and learning I was doing.
One, procrastination is the greatest offender of our dreams. Two, our life will either be a warning of what not to do or an inspiration to others of what is possible in their own life.
Little by little I found myself pursuing the things that were important to me, like my writing and eventually, my speaking. As much as I had dreams of being a writer I also had dreams of being a speaker and using the power of words to impact the lives of others.
Everyone is given gifts that they either do something with, or not. At some point I understood on a very deep level that I was given the gift of writing and speaking in order to fulfill my destiny. Simple as that. And to not do something with these gifts is what had held me back for so many years and would continue to do so if I wasn’t willing to take risks.
The risks included taking writing classes, workshops and seeking out people who were successfully writing as mentors. The risks included being willing to do the same with my speaking ambitions. The risks included being willing to “fail” in order to learn what not to do, but rather what could get me closer to knowing what to do.
The risks included being willing to be rejected and not letting that stop me. When I first decided that I wanted to have a book published I experienced an incredible amount of rejection from traditional publishing houses. Either I never heard back from them or when I did it was to say they just weren’t interested in what I had submitted.
By this point in my life I had strong enough beliefs to know that just because something didn’t immediately work out didn’t mean it wasn’t meant to be. It simply meant there was bound to be a different way.
The first book I thought I would get published never has. Perhaps it will one day, but the catalyst for my first book was the death of a friend. I had done a lot of writing before the book came to be. Lots of articles, short stories, poetry, etc. Because of my career direction, I was writing a lot of business articles.
And yet, it was my friend’s death that took me to such a deep place within myself that the book somehow unfolded.
I did not know at the time of Van’s death what I was writing would become my first book. It is called, Message of Hope. You can read about it at
http://www.kathleengage.com/messageofhope.htmOne thing I was doing differently at this point compared to early on in my life was seeking out the people who were doing what I wanted to do, finding out how they did it and using their experience as a model of what was possible. Somewhere along the line I learned that if I wanted to be a winner I had to hang out with the winners. If I wanted to accomplish something in my life I had be willing to quit talking about what I wanted to do and simply do it.
I started reading everything I could get my hands on about the publishing industry. I was amazed to find out all I did about traditional publishing and self-publishing. I met people who self-published, found out what they did that worked and what didn’t work.
Since that time I have published 4 books, several multi media programs and several eBooks and information products.
I did the same with speaking. What is most amazing is that by focusing on what I wanted to do in life, incredible opportunities began to show up. However, it wasn’t that those opportunities were not without risk.
Years ago I was one of those people who would look at someone who was succeeding at something and say how lucky they were. What I have come to realize is that luck often has very little to do with success. Luck is when opportunity and preparedness meet.
How does the saying go? The harder I work the luckier I get.
Since my twenties I have come from a place of dreaming of being a writer and speaker who could influence others and change lives with my words, to now knowing this is what I do.
I have come from a place of being unemployable and homeless to running my own company. I have worked in a number of companies and each time rose to the top and was usually recognized as a top performer.
I now know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that a book gets written one word at a time; one page at a time. It is the same with becoming an award-winning speaker. I didn’t simply make the decision to be a professional speaker and get many top awards. Award winning presentations came from practicing, finding great mentors, going through extensive training and being willing to fail in order to succeed.
One question that was asked is how to start a publishing company. I will answer that under a separate post.
Have a great day. And live your dreams.
Kathleen
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