My SO (partner) has a job, caring for kids (as I do) that entails 2 evenings a week until 10pm..he´s home about 11pm. Then come the extra meetings and activities which makes it 3 evenings a week at least one or twice a month. What broke the camel´s back for me this time is a ski trip with the kidies after Easter from Tuesday to Friday evening.

We have recently been thru a crisis because of his playing World of Warcraft (extensive computer game on the net)..and the time this took from us as well..time and attention to eachother. We have sort of solved this situation for the time being.

I feel that I have been alone most of my life..first with very career orientated parents and me, the only child. Then came my x hubby and 5 kids..one child died after a long illness at the age of ll..as most of you know. My x hubby, from my point of view, first worked towards his degrees..ending with a doctorate in math and physics. He was also active in a church here in Sweden and always had projects "to do" at our house or country cottage. So I spent alot of my time with the kids..and not too much time with hubby. After 2 heartattacks, when my hubby started redoing the kitchen in our house..I had had enough. I told him that I wanted HIM and HIS TIME..nothing else. This was after 32 yrs of marriage. But it still didn´t work out..so we divorced. And then after a time, I met my present partner at work. At the time, we were both working days. But then my partner found his present job..with other male coworkers.which is rare in our business and he took the job. Yes, we talked about it. But now his job, according to me, is taking more time from us..and I am finding it difficult.

On the other side of the coin is me at 60 yrs of age..still working fulltime..also with kids in a problem district..I have 4 grandchildren..3 living near me that need my help..their mom being a single mom and getting her nursing degree..I enjoy reading..am an avid movie watcher (dvds)..and I have found this site..which can take as much of time as I want to give it..and sometimes I don´t even have the time I want here. I like walking, dreaming, yoga and listening to music of all kinds.

SOOO..am I perhaps not taking my own intersts seriously? And am instead unhappy over all the time "lost" due to my partner´s job and computer game? Perhaps I should be grateful..breathe a sigh of relief and get on with what I like to do..seriously. I have a handful of very close friends..who don´t have much time to meet, as I myself don´t ..but we keep in contact thru MSN or email.

I sort of wanted..at last..someone to spend odd times with..experience things with..have contact with. Yet, I have alot on myself..am I not taking all that seriously? Is he actually, thru his job and so forth, giving me "the go ahead"???? That I don´t want to see??? Don´t DARE to see?? Or am I compromising again with myself?

My partner is a person that gives space to everyone around him. He understands and embraces human beings with all their dark and brighter sides. He doesn´t have alot of "musts" for anyone..you can be YOU..whatever that is at the moment..he doesn´t weigh me or anyone down with alot of guilt feelings..he rather gives air under one´s wings..he lets the "eagle fly" (thinking of and missing our Eagleheart here )

Sooo..as per usual..any thoughts on the subject will be most welcome.

P.S. I am thinking of watching, MASK, with Cher..an old movie now. But I LOVE the female character she plays in that movie. And the basic story of her son´s illness and death is something that I relate to very deeply...