AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and, presto, the blockage will be removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with your wife about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high-blood-pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the znooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40; if it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

Thoughts for the day:

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance. Be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

Some people are like "slinkies" . . . they're not really good foranything; but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

Oh Donna, it's belly laugh time!

I really loved the thoughts for the day.

Did I just hear Celtic_Flame and Popea laugh? Listen? Can you hear them too?

LOL! Those were great, Donna!!!

oppsss ya cought me hannelore

it's the slinkies and stairs one the best. ........i have tears in my eyes......oh i am sick lol don;t care lol

celtic_flame

and number six waaaaay toooo funnny lol

i have just shown popea, second chance to laugh at them,
celtic_flame

I was belly laughing, too and then calmed myself down. Then I scrolled down to read the responses and I got to laughing so hard again. Celtic, you crack me up! And Hannelore, you just knew whose funny bone they would tickle!

I love the ladies here!

A great way to start the day! Hmmmm, which one should I try first?

Danita