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#172405 - 01/23/09 07:31 PM frends and going on holiday
celtic_flame Offline


Registered: 11/24/06
Posts: 2930
Loc: Belfast/Northern Ireland
apart from ew who said a frend insited on going on holiday to point it ruined their frendship and dotsie saying she went on holiday with frends or frends kids when heers were younger i do not recoll reading much on frends going on holiday with you.

its reared its head again for me this year and but i am thinking once bitten twice shy!

whats your experinses with frends and holidays for good or bad?
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"Our attitude either gets in the way or creates a way," Sam Glenn

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#172406 - 01/23/09 07:49 PM Re: frends and going on holiday [Re: celtic_flame]
Edelweiss3 Offline


Registered: 11/19/08
Posts: 1758
Loc: American living in Germany
We've gone on ski vacations with friends, and they were the best. We usually rented a chalet, and took turns cooking. We played cards and always had someone along with a guitar or an accordian. After a week, though, I was more than ready to go back home...to peace and quiet. I think everyone felt that way.

Almost all our friends do vacations together. But Hubby and I prefer not to. We love meeting new people when under ways, and it is easier if you aren't allready in a group. Also it's nice to do just what you want to do without considering other wishes.
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As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.
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#172407 - 01/23/09 07:49 PM Re: frends and going on holiday [Re: celtic_flame]
Edelweiss3 Offline


Registered: 11/19/08
Posts: 1758
Loc: American living in Germany
woops...posted twice.


Edited by Edelweiss3 (01/23/09 07:50 PM)
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As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.
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#172411 - 01/23/09 08:19 PM Re: frends and going on holiday [Re: Edelweiss3]
Lola Offline
Member

Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 3703
Loc: London UK
I have gone on holidays with friends and they've always turned out well. But, my friends and I have known each other from school since we were six so, we can pretty much piggyback on each other's thrills and pockets without any angst. I have not been on holiday with any other group outside of that circle though except for pilgrimages here and there. Some have been quite alright in terms of company. Some not so.
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#172444 - 01/24/09 03:37 AM Re: frends and going on holiday [Re: Lola]
celtic_flame Offline


Registered: 11/24/06
Posts: 2930
Loc: Belfast/Northern Ireland
yea i wnt on two holidays with frends last year camping with one and franch with the other. I was worried with both but took the plung anyway. I don't normale holiday apart from scotland and familie.

the camping was exilent and i going this uyeart again with a bigger tent lol.

the french holiday killed a 15-17 yr frendship. Maybee it needed it killed i don't know but it happend anyway.
I not sure id have let it killed the frendship but i was quite cross when i got back as well as the last 2 days. L was being hit and kicked so i stoped it happening and chastised the child quite gentlie but firmilie that and some monie stuff coused grief.

I was also left stranded in frence facing abnother week their with no cash as i said "we going home today" and got told no! as i said their was some tension their already but we got to port and had missed the boat. I took the news well din't say i told you so and worked hard along with rockie frernd to get the situasion sorted. It couse a lot of stress a night boat the next night and then a 13 hour nail bitting drive for another boat.

that put frdnship in rockie situasion and then a ex frend who had a aanxe with me talked some more nonsense to first frend, first frend didn't see them as talking their a hole in their head for alterer motives, think that ended for sure a frendship that might have been rectifiable.

I was so physical soar on holiday i think i was close to overdosing with painkillers but i particapeted in everything and din't complain, even when id been up all night with one of the frends while their partner sleept then back up first thing in morning with L while one that was up all night slept in the day.

so what i am not sure of is is this normale for holidays?
what sorts of things have to be agree before leaving?
anyone any advice on how to stop tension going to bad with kids fighting (l dose't hit back so i don't know what else to call it)
I though we had enough in common but on deeper levels it seemed we had diffrent lifes values and qualities. How heavilie dose this factor in chosing or saying yes to a frend on holiday?

iv been asked again to go with another couple who are frends and also have kids. But becouse of last experinse i a bit hesitent about going. I don't wanna lose this frendship that upset me a lot more than last one.

are two or 3 families together a nighmare or when dose it work?
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"Our attitude either gets in the way or creates a way," Sam Glenn

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#172457 - 01/24/09 08:30 AM Re: frends and going on holiday [Re: celtic_flame]
Edelweiss3 Offline


Registered: 11/19/08
Posts: 1758
Loc: American living in Germany
Celtic, if the children fight alot, then don't go. That can break a friendship. We have friends with monster children. I'm sorry,…I never thought I could say something like that,…but there is no other word for them. I can hardly stand an afternoon with them. After the last visit, I swore we would only meet outside at a park with picnic tables ( and maybe some iron cells,…heh heh).. The worst thing is, when children are bad;… like they were,…pounding on our granddaughter, just for the sake of hitting,…and the parents don't say a word…that's when I see red.
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As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.
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#172471 - 01/24/09 10:28 AM Re: frends and going on holiday [Re: Edelweiss3]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
celtic, the biggest thing to consider here is how the kids get along. If the kids don't play well together, it's not worth it. I'm sure if the adults went away together it could be great. Throw in a bunch of kids at different ages and personalities and it might not be worth it.

The families we traveled with all had kids with only about a four year span. The families we go away with in the summer became friends thorugh the kids so it always worked. Our kids grew up playing sports and going to school together, playing in the neighborhood, spending nights at one another's homes.

Had just the parents been friends, and the kids a bit awkward with one another (especially pre-teens and teens) it may not have worked.

It's totally worth it if you think the kids will occupy one another because then it's a fun vacation for them too.

Your gut should be able to tell you if the kids will get along.
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#172502 - 01/24/09 02:14 PM Re: frends and going on holiday [Re: Dotsie]
celtic_flame Offline


Registered: 11/24/06
Posts: 2930
Loc: Belfast/Northern Ireland
ew L dose't isent agressive if part of his condision he dose't get or take offense and seldom or dose't go into "i 'll get you back mode" in some ways he's quite pure.

the other wee kid we went with is very spoiled, cryed when L got a gift of 1 car even when he had 20, would't let L touch his cars but took L's car to play with and he was happie enough with it. He takes absolute rules so the don't be eman and share stuff with frends he done even when it wase't recipricated.

Lifes tough and he's had to learn and i descused with him why the sharring didn't happen back had descusion to have becouse it brakes his rules and contradicts what i teach him.

what broke it for me was the hitting and kicking of L from the other wee kid. who hits his parents so dose't think twice about hitting another kid. I saw it said to the mum, it happend again I saw it said to mum child denied it so she belived him. Next time it happend i chastised the other child think thats what couse the offense.

I'd be embvarrised beyond belife if L behaved like that and woul't allow it so i was offended it happend back to him. L dose't get it or why he's being hit dose't hit back and carries on playing, becouse he dose't get anothers anger to point of violense (i don't hit him so its a new thing to him or was new to him) So he was getting hit incrisinglie frequintlie in the week becouse L done nuthing and the parents done nuthing.
So i did! as i say that coused the offense and me not being talked to last day of holiday lol difficult when their a 3 hour drive!

i glade you see red too ew becouse if no one else dose aroubnd you or deals with it it kinda makes you wonder if my emotional response was wrong.

EW
Apart from keeping kids out in parkes with your A did you say anything or develop a stratigie to deal with the kids and parents not minding thir owen kids lashing out?
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"Our attitude either gets in the way or creates a way," Sam Glenn

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#172503 - 01/24/09 02:19 PM Re: frends and going on holiday [Re: celtic_flame]
celtic_flame Offline


Registered: 11/24/06
Posts: 2930
Loc: Belfast/Northern Ireland
DOTSIE
i knew this kid was spoiled and hit his parents, iv seen the scraches dowen their face and its gone on for a long time. This is a smart wee kid and has a keen sense of the social world.

i knew the parents for 15 years but i din't know how little they responded to this type of violense from thir wee one to them, no punishment no chastisment and i belive in boundries and telling off's. L's melt dowens had him lashing at me for awhile but it was something i was constantlie doing or working on with him to have him stop, his melt dowens are when he's so paniced and totalie out of control. He still has melt dowens but dose't lash out at me, we worked a way around it lol.

i guess i din't think the kids situasion or know how they trulie parented their kid.

perhapps thats the big factor in the next holiday.
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"Our attitude either gets in the way or creates a way," Sam Glenn

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#172505 - 01/24/09 02:23 PM Re: frends and going on holiday [Re: celtic_flame]
celtic_flame Offline


Registered: 11/24/06
Posts: 2930
Loc: Belfast/Northern Ireland
the kids swable but get on well. I can talk to the mum and have done if stuff been going on between our kids and we joine as a untied front to solve the problem being faire to all the kids.

maybee last year was just a bad experinse and i was with a couple not another single mum lol hence me getting run into grouwen with tiredness and pain, i learn this time nt to let that happen and look after entertaine L.

so id agree also its all about how the kids get on.

thanks for helping me think this one through its helped lift the fear of last year and dread of having to say no thanks instead of yep cheers smile

either way we still going camping so it looks like a second holiday this year too and that family may come camping also with L and I. could be cool

and thanis again. smile
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"Our attitude either gets in the way or creates a way," Sam Glenn

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