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#35050 - 04/25/06 06:26 AM coming to an end
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
You may get sick of hearing about the empty nest topic these next few months. I'll apologize in advance.

This was a big weekend for the Bregel's. We visited both of our kid's colleges and had a prom to boot. We are gearing up for the empty nest...

and I'm realizing I will no longer be the full-time homemaker.

I'm guessing everything will stay in the proper place when the kids are no longer coming and going day in and day out.

This is one of the positive aspects I must dwell on!

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#35051 - 04/25/06 06:49 AM Re: coming to an end
Danita Offline
Member

Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 1550
Loc: Colorado
Ahhh Dots!

How exciting and frightening all at once. I will be thinking about you and praying for you in the transition!

hugs,
danita

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#35052 - 04/25/06 07:04 AM Re: coming to an end
smilinize Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
Dots,
I don't think you have anything to worry about. Kids just go off to college then come home every weekend and holiday with a bunch of friends and dirty clothes. Then they marry and bring husbands, wifes and kids for a big meal.

I think I'm just now going through empty nest. My oldest is in 500 miles away in Texas and my youngest just moved about 35 miles away. I usually speak to at least one of them or their kids every day on the phone, but they're not in the house every weekend so I'm missing them.

But I guess I'll survive. Actually I think they go through an out of the nest crisis too.

It's not all good and and not all bad. Kind of like life. You'll be fine. And so will they.

smile

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#35053 - 04/26/06 01:45 AM Re: coming to an end
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Well I still miss my two being in and out and around all the time but the one positive thing to dwell on Dotsie is the neatness but once they do pop in all things will once again be in turmoil and take time after they leave to organize again. I use to think of my home as a revolving door in a high wind when they were here. LOL [Wink] [Big Grin]

[ April 25, 2006, 06:46 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]

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#35054 - 04/26/06 02:10 AM Re: coming to an end
Sherri Offline
Member

Registered: 03/12/04
Posts: 1177
Loc: Decatur, Illinois
Your kids never actually ever leave home for college. My son was home every weekend, and you're right with clothes and/or friends. Since then we've had three of our five children move back in and live with us. I still don't think I've actually known what "empty nest" is! lol

Sherri

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#35055 - 05/02/06 02:48 AM Re: coming to an end
mrs_madness Offline
Member

Registered: 09/29/05
Posts: 217
Loc: Moscow
Dotsie, I have no cure for your empty nest heartaches. But.....

When kids leave--they leave. It's over, adios, fini. They may bring you their laundry on occasion and will visit for Christmas and Thanksgiving and they will still love you--but they're gone. The genie has been let out of the bottle and cannot be stuffed back in.

It seems to me that there is no cure for the Mothertime Blues. You just spent half your life--since you were a young woman--looking out for and caring for and fighting for your children. Because you had to. Because you're the mom. Because the mom does what the mom has to do. There is no thanks, no orchestra and no finalé, no audience clapping. There is no public reward. You just exit stage left quietly and make no waves. The mom does her job and disappears.

I wish I knew why we put so much effort and love and time and energy into the children we love so much and get so little in return. Because that's the way life is. Because that's what moms do. There is no rainbow at the end of the tunnel except that you look at your children and know that you tried to grow good people for this world and did the best you could and something that you couldn't name made you do it. It's the mystery and grandeur of motherhood; it's the gift of life. You give it but you cannot control it.

It has always been and always will be. It's wonderful and heartbreaking and magic. No real sense can be made of it. We do it because we have to and our daughters will follow the same path. Motherhood is a beauty in the eye of the mother and women are the givers of life. It is the ebb and flow of humanity that we create and leave behind. Just be content that you did your part well...to be a mother is a special gift even if we don't know why.

I wish I knew. Maybe because we need children to love?

[ May 01, 2006, 07:51 PM: Message edited by: mrs_madness ]

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#35056 - 05/02/06 04:23 AM Re: coming to an end
Dancing Dolphin Offline
Member

Registered: 03/06/06
Posts: 2529
Loc: Southern California
We do our best to raise them with good morals, good decision making skills, and to be independent - now is the time to let them try their wings.

This is what our job is - to raise them to be able to continue on with their own life and families.

And wasn't it fun? Yes! Challenging, yes. Wanted to kill them sometimes? Yes! But now you have whole new adventures to watch them experience - more from the sidelines than from a coaching standpoint, but you'll be there, nonetheless.

You did good, mom.

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#35057 - 05/02/06 05:50 AM Re: coming to an end
Di Offline
Member

Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
I know I have no place is speaking of an empty next,as mine has always been empty...but, I've heard it said that Mom's and Dad's are, from day one, working themselves OUT of a job. They raise children to be independent citizens...doing their best in this side of Heaven.

But, I'm a product of a Dad who became an empty nester when I left at age 22. He cried! My oldest sister and I left together for our very first apartment.

Dotsie: Now YOU can enjoy a life like I have!! LOL!! An empty slate to begin anew!

[ May 01, 2006, 10:51 PM: Message edited by: Di ]

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#35058 - 05/03/06 03:14 AM Re: coming to an end
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
My empty nest is crowed again. Do they come back? Oh ye-ah! Several times. So take heart...enjoy the silence and ownership of the remote control. It won't last....JJ

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#35059 - 05/03/06 04:13 AM Re: coming to an end
TVC15 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/03/04
Posts: 2538
Loc: North Carolina
I'm with JJ. Mine is on his way back this month!
I missed him but also got used to only cooking and doing laundry for 3.

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