I wrote to Eagle, who wrote back to me and told me that I should feel safe about sharing something about myself here, in this forum.

I hadn't scrolled down to this health section and didn't even know it was here! I have to say, that if I had known about Eagle's brother, I would not have bothered her with my problems. I am touched by the compassionate responses to her challenge.

Here I go -- I'm taking the chance.

My family has a history of depression/anxiety and bi-polar and guess who inhereted that nasty gene? So, I have been on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs for years. As they have evolved, I've gotten much better.

But, I just lost my therapist, who is moving on to another field of mental health. Two friends and my next door neighbor are moving. I'm feeling scared, more than sad.

Another revelation from me: my faith is very shaky do to being raised in a very strict church. I get anxiety attacks when I try to go to church. So, I have had to get close to God in my prayers, through reading, through nature. This probably sounds so ridiculous to most of you, but I sincerely get panic attacks. It's awful. I'm working on this, was working on this, when I lost my therapist.

Well, I'm making it to work. Then, pretty much going to bed. I need to get Eagle's book and I need to find help in locating a new therapist.

I don't want to say more at this time, as focusing on my feelings isn't helpful right now. I have to let time pass, take my meds, and keep talking to myself.

I just needed to let this out.

Emily in Maryland, who will make herself a cup of soothing tea!