Well, my son returned after only one week at treatment. I asked him to think long and hard about this choice before he left but he just told me that the drugs were a faze and he can beat them on his own. Typical of some addicts, he felt that the others in the treatment centre were way worse than him and felt he didn't belong there. He has been home for a week now, got a job and was doing ok up until now. I had not heard from him for a few days which even at 22 is unusual, he always keeps in touch with me. After making a few calls I went to a drug house that I know of and found him there. He had spent his entire pay cheque on drugs and alcohol and was broke and intoxicated when I found him. I had to go into the house as everyone was so out of it they didn't answer the door. He was not happy that I found him. He did greet me though and took me outside as he didn't want me in the place. He was upset and told me that he wanted to do it on his own but realizes now that he can't. He kept saying he was sorry. He said after more than a year in jail he wanted to have some fun. I don't think he is having any fun though. He told me that this world is an evil place. Poor thing, he has no idea what this world has to offer him as he is only looking at the negative side of the world, he can't see anything else and that is why he numbs himself with substances. I told him to sleep it off and make sure he comes home for Christmas, that I am not judging him and that I know he will do the right thing this time. Of course I have my doubts as he keeps trying and falling down again. It's tough to watch but I have to support him and keep pushing him and not give up. I belong to a parent/teen group and have been involved with them for 6 years now. Most of our kids have moved on to better lives. One of the moms emailed me today all upset as another of her daughters friends died of an overdose. This makes 8 young people dead due to drugs and alcohol in our circle. I pray every night that this doesn't happen to my son. I pray that he changes soon and will continue to pray for him. This Christmas as in Christmas's past, I have to deal with my drug addicted son and my miserable negative mother. I don't know how I manage to stay positive. I do have two other wonderful children, good friends and a wonderful boyfriend. I thank God for that and my Dad of course who is very supportive of me.
Kate