My most important attribute has been compassion and empathy (largely born of self-esteem, yes). I used my own experiences as a child (how I learned, how I felt, etc) to treat, react to and educate my children. They're compassionate and empathetic children so I'm hoping that was the way to go. I did also couple this with personal responsibility (you're responsible for you and I for me) and a bit of profiling. Yes, profiling is a very useful tool if used correctly. The way someone is dressed or kept isn't nearly as important as how they act with and react to their environment.

Having said that, time is a parent's most important attribute. If you don't have time, you've got little chance of sharing anything useful about yourself.