lin, I have not lost a spouse, but Mom died five years ago. I guess my two cents is that during the first year, the anticipation of the day was always worse than the day itself. I pray this is true in your case. Thinking of you and sending warm prayers and thoughts your way.

Christina, I wouldn't let the high school education bother you. This may be too personal so you don't have to answer if you don't want to. Just soemthing to think about. Do you need money? If not, why not get a job doing something that really turns you on ((old terminology, forgive me, but you know what I mean). I see this as a time for you to recreate yourself. Want to talk about it? Have you read any books about recreating yourself at midlife? I can share a few titles if you are interested.