Hi Dianne, yes, you know I care. I hadn't realized you were going through this with your daughter. Oh my gosh, it sounds like her husband is sabatoging her college career. Plus, he has that personality dichotomy that can be so disarming: kind and sweet, yet selfish and unambitious. If she should decide to separate from him at some point, a college education will certainly help her to be better able to support herself. That's a good way of putting it: that she is competing against herself. But this can backfire on her. Yes, she's under too much stress.