Donkey,
You seem pretty sure your husband is having an affair. If you need the tape to prove it in court or to prove that he is physically and emotionally abusing you, those voice activated tape recorders can be purchased at Radio Shack or about any retail electronics store. They're not even terribly expensive. I bought one a while back, not even realizing it had that feature until my daughter pointed it out.

If you simply cannot file the divorce and don't understand why, perhaps you should spend some time alone in prayer. Sometimes a long talk with God, or however you define your higher power, is the only way to settle your mind and know the right direction.

I will be praying for you.

smile