To put it plain and simply --- My husband doesn't get along with our daughters (17 & 15). I guess they all love each other but they certainly don't like each other. I'm putting the blame in my husband's court because he is the parent and they are the children.

I've been at home with our girls for 15 years. I know them very well and, for obvious reasons, know what it's like to be a girl. My husband grew up with 2 brothers and a mother who worked outside of the home. His mom has more of the personality of the typical man.

My husband travels frequently for business while I'm at home maintaining the fort. While he's gone, the 3 of us operate like a well-oiled machine. When he's home, he gums up the works and our family is off-kilter. Pun intended --- he's an engineer who supervises the design of multi-million dollar machines for the corrugating industry.

My husband was a fabulous Daddy to our girls all through their early childhood. But as they both turned 12 and became young women who don't see the sun rising and setting in him, he's got no idea how to relate to them.

I've tried to lead him to water but he won't drink! We subscribe to Daughters newsletter, but he rarely reads it. He's gone to one therapy session with our older daughter and me, but hasn't gone back. When he complains to me about what one of our girls isn't doing right, I tell him to talk to them about his concerns. He grumbles and says, "They won't listen to me." I've told him, "You can keep complaining to me about what they do or don't do, or you can do something about your concerns by talking to the girls with or without a counselor mediating." He just rolls his eyes at me, grumbles, and then goes to his cave in the basement to play on the computer.

I should mention that our girls aren't smoking, pregnant, drinking, or doing drugs. The only body parts that are pierced on them are their ears. They don't have tatoos. They are both excellent students (although my older daughter just got a "C" in Latin V --- horrors!).

Our younger daughter takes all GT classes, rides horses, volunteered at the local nature center, swims on the neighborhood swim team, and is a great kid. Our older daughter took 5 AP classes last year. She's in the Honor Society, is working on her Girl Scout Gold Award, designed the websites for the local Girl Scout troop and community, taught herself the Elvish language, is teaching herself Japanese, is an expert seamstress and knitter and, in my opinion, is a great kid. So, she's moody. So, she hasn't gotten a job this summer. So, she doesn't get up and run to the door when her father comes home. So, she'd rather read than go for a bike ride with her dad. So, what!

My husband says that I'm too easy on our girls. I counter that I'm here day in and day out and that I see a bigger picture of them while he sees only a snapshot. When he sees something that he doesn't like, he zeros in on it and focuses on the negative. When I told him, "There's no pleasing you" he got angry and stormed off to his cave.

Sigh --- I love them all but know that it's not my job to fix my husband's relationship with his daughters. He's a smart guy. He could learn how to relate better with them. But, only if he wants takes the responsibility to do so.

Any ideas from my fellow BoomerWomen?