Here is another thought. In a way I have some personal experience with this situation.

My husband finally went to a councelor, and what happened was he had to workout/deal with some issues going way back as far as his childhood. Issue that he forgot about, but was still buried deep down inside.

In other words, there might be some other underlying issues that your husband hasn't come to terms with and this is his way of dealing with them. Granted, not a good way of dealing with it, it is possible that this is the only way he knows how. This is where the counceling can help.

Of course, this is a supposition on my part and based on what you have told me.

I hope this helps.

Love and Hugs,
Cathi