Right now I think I am working through some of the feelings I should have already dealt with. I am forcing myself to remember the bad things he did, the times I don't like to think about. It doesn't hurt so much to think about them anymore, and it helps me to put him behind me. I am strong enough now to see the situation as it really was: he was emotionally and financially abusive, he was a cheat and he was a liar. I was miserable with him about 85% of the time. Now, I see that I deserve more than 15% happiness. I've been selling myself short for a long time, but NO MORE!

Update: I finally fixed my work situation that was making me miserable. I prayed for a new job, and I got one! 5 eight hour days a week, no weekends, no holidays! I'm so happy!