I split up with my ex about 2-1/2 years ago after 5 very difficult years together. He is still dating the person (I call her Thing) that he was cheating on me with, which I am still very angry about. I hate this woman beyond belief! Thing took up with my ex and was sleeping with him - she told me after I found out and called her - after two weeks, and she knew about me and admitted that she knew. I had no contact with the ex for a year after that, but then I was weak and missed him so I called and we talked several times and then saw each other and we have been seeing each other about once a month since then (I moved out of town so it isn't really possible to see each other too often). We have talked about getting back together and I know that we still love each other but our relationship was difficult and I'm not sure if I want him back. The thing is - and this is the point I need help with - I don't necessarily want him back, I just don't want HER to end up with him! Am I crazy? She was SO smug when I called her, crying my eyes out, asking her if she had known about me when she started seeing him. Besides admitting that she had (and obviously didn't care about MY feelings!) she said "I can't promise you that I won't see him again" in this very smug, very arrogant way. I have hated her ever since! I know it is not right to hate someone so much, and I realize that the person I should be angriest at is HIM, but I forgave him and still hate her. All I want is to make sure that she finds out that yes, she too can be cheated on, and that what goes around comes around. I am moving back into town in April of next year and I think that just knowing that I am back with put her into a tailspin (mutual friends say she is very insecure about me), but it's hard to wait until then. I want her to know that he has been seeing me and I figure he will slip up eventually and she will find out, but I know how he lies his way out of trouble (he's done it to me), so I want to make sure there is no doubt about it.

I know that everyone will say that I should go on with my life and be happy, so I want to reassure everyone that I am basically pretty happy by myself and my object is not to get the ex back. I know that I should get over my anger, but you have no idea how arrogant this woman is! My ex's son, and my stepson, died recently and she actually came up to me at the hospital and WANTED TO HUG ME! Yes, hug me! I couldn't believe it either! Any decent self-respecting person would have kept discreetly to the other side of the room and let me have my visit in peace, but she insisted on invading my space and trying to touch me like she is my friend! It made an already terrible situation that much more painful, and I suspect that is exactly what she was TRYING to do! I hate her, the hag!

My ex is coming down today to see me and I'm just thinking about it, I guess, and needed to vent. Any advice would be appreciated.