hippo, we are happy to help if we can. Nothing in your post makes me think you are a man, but your screen name makes me wonder.

How old is your friend? That's important to learn so we can make suggestions about how to help. Hs mother's bahavior leads me to believe she is paranoid. The pet mess may be able to be addressed by the Department of Health. Before I say anthing else, I'd like to know your friend's age.