I get tired of being strong. I get tired of being expected to have all the answers. I get tired of not feeling right when I ask others for their opinion because it might make me look less than... I just get tired. Because I'm the author of a book on domestic violence, I'm supposed to know everything or have all the right answers for every single woman who contacts me. I'm worn out! Every single time I try to step back and take a breath, I have another woman call or email me and ask for help and I know this is God telling me I'm doing what I should be doing but I just get so tired and weary. I have problems too. My husband took a mental leave of absence for about a year and although he seems to be back to his old self, I'm left with doubt and stress because I just don't trust anymore. Everything I believed in just flew out the window. I haven't been able to completely regroup yet. Gads, this sounds horrible but I've been feeling like I'm gonna explode! Being an "authority" on a topic puts a lot of pressure on them. It's like they've been moved to a higher realm or something and they better not fall off or be human or everyone is watching and think of those who will be disappointed!

I can't help but feel being so strong or trying to be so strong has caused a lot of my problems. Maybe my husband gets sick and tired of me being so strong and would like a woman who is vulnerable. Who knows? I can't figure it out because for the most part, I don't know how to be vulnerable because of fear. Oh geesh, I've really blown here, haven't I? I needed to get this off my chest and I just can't do it on my site because these women call me their ringleader for pete sakes! Sorry.