Sorry if I highjacked this post. It just came to me about kids and what age they leave home. I think my group was just generalizing, lumping us white people in the same box. They also take care of their parents and have them live with them when they can't take care of themselves. They think we throw ours away by putting them into old age homes. It's interesting to me to hear about how other cultures view us. It's never a good idea to lump one group together as we are all different but I think it's important that we can learn from other cultures.

We are all different and this guy and his son may have a different perspective on what age is the right age to move out. Truthfully as long as my kids are in school they can stay home for as long as they want. I won't push them out the door unless they are just being moochers, not working or going to school. Sounds like your boyfriends son works at least.

Lora, maybe your BF is of a different opinion than you about what age kids should move out. If you see differently this may cause problems and it appears that it already has. I do understand what your saying about the young man acting like a 14 year old. It may be that he did not mature properly due to the trauma of losing his Dad. Boys really need their Dad's when they are teenagers. Mine are all messed up because their Dad was and is not there for them. They suffered greatly from him being absent from their lives.

Not trying to put your needs second at all. You can only deal with what you can deal with. Backing off, maybe seeing each other outside both of your homes, going out to a movie etc. may be better. Just date for now without the son around so you can have some alone time and get to know your BF. He may not have loyalties to you yet as this is a fairly new relationship but this will happen eventually if you decide to keep seeing him.

Only you know what is best for you.
Kate