Anno, first thought, I don't want this thread to be just about me...anytime I raise a new topic, I'm looking not only for answers for my situation, but always I'm also looking to hear other people's stories...it never ever bothers me if a thread that I begin "morphs" into various directions. I figure that when someone else needs the flow of help/energy/encouragment, then that's where the thread should go. In fact, it's one of the things I most love about BWS, is that so many of us can be helped and enriched when others share their wisdoms and experiences.

The fact that you crash and burn whenever you try to come off the AD's is a sure sign that they're providing you with whatever your body needs at this time. I believe that depression is primarily a chemical imbalance and that only the appropriate meds can restore that balance. I also believe that for some of us that chemical imbalance is permanent; I can go for years without medication, but even during those times, I do struggle with chronic depression (dysthemia) which probably would not affect me as much if I DID take AD's all the time. But I also know when the "chronic" low has dipped too far and that's my signal to go back on the meds.

PTSD could be a possibility...watching my Dad, Mom and then my brother all die before my eyes within a few years of each other was hard to take. Then this other family situation which is unbelievably painful and not within my ability to fix or change in any way. And so many deaths on my hubby's side as well. The loss of my job, and the loss of my ability to work. I suppose it could all add up, couldn't it. But that all also could point to this adrenal fatigue thing that we've been talking about as well.

I do have to say that having this discussion here, as well as the discussions elsewhere about adrenal fatigue have helped immensely, not just in pointing me in the right direction for relief and treatment, but also in the direction of continuing to have compassion for whatever this journey is and patience for wherever it's leading.

I'm actually liking this cipralex...Dancer, thanks for your words of encouragement. I too see the difference when I stop and compare my mood now to the roller coaster it's been for months/over a year now. Did you know, though, that the time frame that you arrived here was only about two weeks after my beloved brother died? That plunged me into a profound grief that I'm only just now emerging from, though for the past few months I was aware that the grief was spiralling me too deep for me to get out of by myself. That's probably why the half-dosage works, because this isn't full-blown depression...I think we caught it just in time.