We came to Chicago to be with my mom this Christmas (as I've done every year for years -- came to be with my family) -- one son came with me and another lives here. This year is tough for her because my dad died last summer -- 3 weeks before their 60th wedding anniversary. She was very dependent on him and none of us realized how much because she's such a strong woman -- but has macular degeneration and has suffered a few strokes that weakened her memory just slightly. Last night we had a big dinner at one brother's house -- we got gifts for all the younger family members and for mom. We've always done a Secret Santa and gotten something for each other, but this year we all decided just to give to charity in my dad's name.

Mom lives in a very nice retirement community. all the buildings are attached, if only by underground tunnels at some points -- so you can get to the fitness center, the dining room, gift shop, beauty parlor, craft room, computer room, post office, etc., all without stepping outside which today is 0 degrees F.

There are many widows here -- 3 times more women than men. So often when mom and I are walking somewhere, we pass someone who comments on this being her first Christmas without her husband, and how hard that is, and how it doesn't get better ( which doesn't help, truthfully).

She's grieving, even if deep down, and gets depressed, though she's got 4 children, their spouses, most of her grandchildren here with her. She was born and raised in this town, and has many many friends (though many have passed on). But Dad was her life companion for 60 year as they raised 4 kids together. They were 2 peas in a pod. As much as I miss him too, her loneliness of missing him is hard to imagine.