You sound confused because it is confusing, and only time will tell what is best. I'm guessing patience is what you need right now. However, I hope you continue to be in touch with her by phone and visits.

EW, I'm sorry to say that we really didn't do a whole lot to keep our kids in touch with their roots. We made attempts when they were little, but they weren't very interested. We adopted them through Catholic Charities. They offer a Homeland Tour to Korea annually. It's still something I dream about doing with my daughter, but my son has no interest. It won't be this year though, because Ross is taking her to Hawaii in June to celebrate her 21st birthday. Any time Ross asked the kdis where they wanted to go for vacation, Jess always said, "Hawaii." He'd reply, "One of these days I'm going to take you to Hawaii." He's a man of his word so they are going for five days, which is a rather quick trip, but they will make the most of it for sure.

Ew, please know your son and his family, and you and your hubby are often in my thoughts and prayers. I wish A's mom would grow up and recognize all that she has. I'm afraid she will , but it will be too late.