Haven't posted for quite a while (although am trying to catch up in posting a new article in my role as mental health advisor for NABBW). Like the new format!

So after being solo for over 23 years and making stabs at relationships through internet sites, I was going to give up. Just one more try (back in June). And wouldn't you know it, I met a wonderful man who was about to give up the ghost too. I truly have never had a positive relationship so this is all new ground...and I have to sort out what's important and what's not. We live 60 miles apart and because of our jobs and my family commitments (sharing property with a grown daughter and her spouse), we are unlikely for many years to live together.

But you know what? I think it's better this way. Lots of anticipation with times together filled with hours of quality time. Thoughtful (or fun!) emails and phone calls in between. Everyone has their space--I've got the ultimate feminine French country cottage and he's got the ultimate guy place. No one's trying to redecorate the other (physically or psychologically).

But true emotional intimacy is a challenge for those of us who have never experienced it. And my 40 years as a psychologist helping others with their relationships doesn't apply!

This is a turning point for me. I'm so glad I went through all the frogs (2 husbands and all the other internet dates) before I found my prince of a guy. I knew exactly what I truly needed and could recognize it when I found it.

And having a fulfilling solo life both before and since I've found him (adding monogamy, of course) is the key to our good relationship.