Edelweiss,
When I was a young woman and I had anorexia, it was a combination of parents I could not please by being perfect enough and low self esteem. Feeling unloved is a big part.
I think I have seen this over and over again in a person with the disease.
Your grandaughters mother could very well be difficult to please if she starts living through her daughter.
I would watch for that. I think her giving up custody, as Merdith said, would be the best thing for this little girl and I've spent my life with girls and women, as a young girl and as an adult.
Dancers, Models, I've been around them all my life.

Love to you,
Dancer9
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"Question your privilege"