Dee, I read this with a heavy heart. I understand what's going on. I lived it to an extent with my ex. Your SIL is really taking advantage of your MIL and your MIL thinks she's "helping." It's called co-dependency. I've seen it, I've lived it, it's such a sick cycle. My ex hooked up with a woman who fed this cycle, it's why I set such strong boundaries with him and really have nothing to do with him now. It's truly something that can't be really "understood." Just not a normal, healthy, parent-adult child relationship there.

What helped me was to read a lot of Melanie Beatty's, Pia Mellody's and Patrick Carne's books.

My dad was an alcoholic. My mom had an intervention with him many many years ago (back in the 80s...maybe 3 or 4 years before he died). It worked to some extent, in that my dad was very much a "family" person and did acknowledge he drank too much, he went through the program fairly successfully, but not early enough. He ended up dying of a stroke a few years later due to all of the havoc the alcohol did to his body. But some addicts are so overpowered by the drug/behavior of their choice and are so conniving they will do anything to maintain that life. Sad sad sad.

It's so hard on loved ones. You really are doing the right thing. Larry must be heartbroken. Has he talked or is willing to talk to anyone about this--like a counselor? Just to reassure him that he is doing the best thing he can?

I wish I had words of wisdom, but have none. All I can do is send some virtual hugs. Stuff like this sucks.