THANK YOU to all of you, first for caring and conveying your understanding spirits for the losses searcher and i have experienced. second, for your encouragement in the writing dept.

Thank you, searcher, for writing so elequently about Nichole and your family, and that of your friend Bonnie. I cannot imagine how you made it through so many years on your own with all of it on your lone shoulders. You and Bonnie are so blessed to have each other. None of my family or close friends have lost a child (nor would i want them to!) so the longer the time without Missi, the more detatched I feel from them. They can't possibly know how much my loss has changed me or how my grief never goes away.

you learn to make it a part of your life and yes, life goes on bringing new joys and challenges. it just will never ever be the same and that is what others lose sight of or don't understand.

searcher, our writing is very much in the same league because it comes straight from the heart. i am part of a group of bereaved parents called 'the compassionate friends.' we meet once a month and just talk. there are so many aspects of losing a child that you just can't talk about with those who have not experienced the loss. we help and support each other. you and your friend Bonnie might find a room full of kindred spirits if you choose to go to a meeting. there are chapters all over the world so if you want to try going, i could help you find a chapter near you.

aside from going to meetings and helping out where i can, i compile and edit a newsletter for our local chapter which is where my writing usually lands first. i would love to use something from you if you will write from your experience and email it to me at jkrtcf@srt.com. I can also use a picture of your Nichole if you send one.

i have found writing to be a great way to sort through my feelings. i love to write and don't do as much as i would like to because of other things in our lives that have to take priority. someday, i hope to devote a lot more time to it.

my family has been telling me for years to write a book but so far i just haven't taken the time to do the work required. one thing i do want to do is write a book about Missi's life and death that i can give to my granddaughter so she will know who her auntie Missi was and have a fuller understanding of who we all are.

if you have time, searcher, start gathering all those scraps of paper you've written on! i haven't done a lot of journaling but probably should have. i usually write essay style about specific issues and how i relate them to my grief. as for collaboration, i just never say never!

now this is turning into the book i haven't written so will sign off. by the way, i LOVE Andrea, too!

jo