I think one of the hardest things being a mom is learning that there ARE times we arent allowed to be human

The human part of us wants to hear this and that and we want to hear it when we want to hear it -- but the mother in us has to learn that we don't have that "right" or control over someone else.

I knew that time would someday tell if my youngest son had forgiven me for all the times I had let him down -- we had been so close when he was a child and I really didn't know if we would ever be close again -- then a few years ago I was sitting in the chair looking out the window at nature and he walked up behind me -- put his arms around me and said "I love you mom" -- I froze --I was sooooo scared to say anything -- afraid to move -- if I even breathed he might let go and walk away. How could I keep this moment going on and on and on -----

After I felt safe with my voice to speak -- I told him he had just made my day -- my year -- and that I loved him too. To my surprise he didn't bolt -- and after a minute or two he let me go and we discussed how it might rain later or something silly and unimportant -- and yet it was more meaningful to me than words can express.

It was done -- I was forgiven and we were on the forward track once again -- no excuses or long discussion -- all was well again and it was all in God's time

so don't kick yourself too hard -- it's only human for us mothers to forget we can't always be human