Humlan, first allow me to apoligize for having missed this post until today. NO post is too trivial, and no ones problems, whatever they may be should ever be laughed at, or taken lightly by others. That would never happen in BWS, because we care too much for one another.
My advice to you would be to stay put for now. Do your best to have a heart to heart discussion with R. Tell him your true feelings. It sounds like you have a very open dialogue with him anyway. Maybe you could also take an interest in his game...It might be fun, and is apprently something he enjoys. Maybe put a time limit on the time spent playing the game, and you do something you like during his game time. As far as the boys being there, you need a bigger place, 2 bedrooms, and/or a pullout sofa perhaps. Whatever else happens, be grateful he is playing a game and not involved with PORN...That is a slap in the face no woman should have to endure. Many women here have suffered through that and it never ends well.
I hope some of these ideas help, and bravo for the relationship, you are braver than I. You're also correct that it is NO fun growing old alone...and lonely.