Dancer, of course you belong. You are a vital part of this discussion. I'd be lost if not for you and the others who have reached out to share their experiences. I'd feel so alone! Your opinion is important. You have been through so much, and you have messages that are enriching based not only on your experiences, but also on your empathy. Plus, we cannot compare what one does with what another does. We each have our unique coping strategies, limitations, boundaries, energy levels, etc. We know you did and do a lot for your mother, and you have a court date coming up pertaining to her care. It must be very draining, emotionally and physically. GIMS, I suspected my mother was ill with dementia for nearly a decade. I can't say if it is a relief or not to know one of her diagnosis is Alz because there is no cure, and treatment is not going well. So you are expressing your own self-respect by standing your ground, saying what you can and can't take, and walking away for the sake of yourself. That means you have the self-esteem to know yourself. Didn't you say that your dad was placing his self in hospice? How is that going? PL