Lola,I so agree with you, the children come first. The problem is that when her mother died suddenly, her sister left the state and she is the ONLY family member in the state of Virginia! We are all California/Arizona people. If anyone could intervene on the childrens behalf, they would have to do it long distance and we have all made reports but they have told us that our word is not sufficent enough to take action. When the family was there for her mother's memorial service, they were able to get Child Protection to visit the home and they DID give them some required therapy that lasted a short time. Now that everyone is home again, it's hard to get enough evidence to get them to take action.
On a better side, my SIL IS strong enough to watch her daughters as much as she can to keep them safe but no one can stop him if he is so inclined and we just aren't sure, we want Child Protection to go in for other abuses, yelling at the children, the danger of them being alone with my SIL in the car with her MS, the danger gets worse and worse as her MS gets worse. She forgets things and has forgotten the baby outside! She yells at them in rages, and I reported this in detail to the CPS office but "not enough!"
She has made contact again and left me a message. I will call her back and see if it is yet another problem with her husband. If it is and it is an offense I can report, I will. Also, she will call her sister if she is upset and if that is about her husband and is a offense by him, she will call the sheriff and ask them to do a "well check," on her sister.
We may have her in another one of her divorce moods now. I will let you all know what she says when I talk to her tomorrow. She almost never leaves the house now but only four months ago she was taking her children with her to meet a friend for drinks! I reported that too.
I'm trying and I thank you for trying with me. I thank you for caring.
This is my major family problem and I have been trying to do my best in it for a long time now. I became aware of it when my MIL died and that was almost to the day, two years ago.
If it were my sister I would have more power here. Her sister wants her to come live with her but she is stubborn about leaving that man! I also know she fears him. He drives around in a new truck she bought him with a gun and sometimes he takes the children with him! It's a scary thing. They live in this upper line gated community with, as I said, it's own "police force!" If they were real police, it'd be over already!
Wish me luck, round 102!
dancer
Edited by dancer9 (10/13/07 01:34 AM)
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