So sorry to hear about what is happening in your life right now Iris.
If it is any comfort to you at all I can tell you from my own experience and from those of many other women I have interviewed that this particular period you are going through really is one of the toughest you will face. Taking the bull by the proverbial horns and ending the indecision, the wavering back and forth, and wondering how the heck you are going to manage to keep it all together really is the hardest stage for many women. The good news is that it won't last forever and you are stronger than you think you are. You also have the support of so many of us online girlfriends who have been through this and not only survived but thrived in spite of it.

A trick I used when I was in the thick of it (and still do when things get rocky) was to project myself into the future and try to imagine where I'll be a year from 'now'. Somehow it seems to help put things in perspective. Visualize what you'd like to be doing and then work your way backwards from there. This will also help put the emphasis on the positive and distract you from being angry about the situation you are currently in.

Hang in there, Girlfriend! Imagine how much lighter your load will be without having to "raise" your man-child in addition to everything else you are responsible for!

Better times are definitely ahead.

Big virtual hug,
Foundhervoice-atlast